Cliff Lee Signs With The Phillies.

I usually try to make a more clever title...but I just don't have it in me this time.

It's nearly official: Cliff Lee and the Philadelphia Phillies have agreed to terms for a contract still to be made public; sources have indicated that it's for 5 years/$100 million, a few steps down from offers made by New York and Texas, but this has yet to be confirmed. After weeks and months of speculations, rumors, and posturing, Lee's agent, Darek Braunecker, informed both the Yankees and Rangers Monday that both were out of the running for Lee, and now we all know why. Whether the Phillies made this offer a while ago and kept it completely secret, or if it truly surfaced and was signed in the matter of 2 or 3 hours, as it's sure seemed, is not clear as of now. Lee was originally acquired by the Phils in late 2009 from Cleveland, where he went 7-4 in 12 starts through the regular season, and went 4-0 for them in the postseason, including handing the Yanks their only losses of championship number 27.

And now, let's all sit back for a moment and take a look at (not in the specific order they may be in) the Phillies' starting rotation in 2011.

Roy Halladay
Roy Oswalt (ugh)
Cole Hamels
Cliff Lee
Insert any human being capable of throwing a pitch here, because they're basically redundant

You know that bully who used to pick on you when you were younger? He'd always dominate you and make you feel worthless, because you could never beat him? Yeah, he grew up and became the Philadelphia Phillies' 2011 starting rotation.

What's the regular season wins record for a team? 116 wins by the Seattle Mariners in 2001? That's child's play compared to what Philadelphia will unleash next year. The better, easier question to gauge is, how many games will they lose? That answer will be significantly smaller.

Keep in mind, all this praise and confidence in this rotation is coming from the most diehard Yankees fan this side of the Mason-Dixon line. Speaking of my Yanks, this monumental snubbing can really only predicate one logical conclusion: seeing banners in October that say "Congratulations to the 2011 American League Champions, the Boston Red Sox". Call me crazy, but with this opportunity forcibly passed up, and considering the way Mr. Epstein stacked his lineup, you can't call me wrong.

I need to go to bed...maybe I'll wake up and this will all have been a bad, bad dream...