Bless Me, Father, For I Want To Contend.

The MLB offseason is a funny thing. With free agents signing at random and trades materializing seemingly out of thin air, it's almost as if the downtime is a pennant race all on its own, one that gives no indication of any team actually being in the lead. This offseason in particular has given us a myriad of fascinating transactions, 95 percent of which have involved the hapless team in San Diego. Whether or not they'll remain hapless for long remains to be seen, but until then, let's take a moment to appreciate (or ridicule, depending on your loyalties) what the Padres have done so far this winter.

First, let's look back at the Padres of yesteryear. While their rotation was surprisingly spectacular (ranking in the top 10 in ERA, quality starts, WHIP and home runs allowed despite ranking 27th in innings pitched), the offensive production was historically awful, ranking dead last in the majors across the board. Seriously. Outside of triples (they somehow ranked 12th, with 30) and homers (their 109 just edged out the Cardinals and Royals), the Friars were stuck at the bottom of the barrel in every offensive category. They ranked 10th in strikeouts. They were 17th in stolen bases. They were one of 3 teams (including the Braves and Rangers, both of whom ranked above San Diego) to record fewer than 400 extra base hits. Their .226 team batting average wasn't just the lowest in the league, it was 2 points away from being the worst in team history (only the 1969 Padres were worse, with a .225 average) as well as being the 5th lowest batting average by a single team in National League history. The Pads weren't just bad at the plate last year. They were atrocious. Tony Gwynn sadly passed away in June, but they could have rolled his corpse out for every game after the All-Star break and he still would have outhit the rest of the team.

So, when new general manager A.J. Preller was hired in August, he looked at the team he inherited and, presumably after vomiting a few times and drinking several stiff alcoholic beverages, got to work on a plan to revamp the lineup and make it look something like a major league team. Here's a short list of the players Preller's contingent has traded for since the World Series ended:

Matt Kemp, outfielder formerly of the Dodgers
Wil Myers, outfielder formerly of the Rays
Justin Upton, outfielder formerly of the Braves
Derek Norris, catcher formerly of the Athletics

This doesn't include Will Middlebrooks, third baseman for the Red Sox, who the team is currently in talks to acquire as well. Even if that trade doesn't come to pass (UPDATE: It did!), look at that list. Those are 4 bats that could feasibly provide 15-25 homers apiece, even in the cavernous confines of Petco Park. Hey, if Jedd Gyorko can hit 20+ homers a year there, don't tell me Kemp, Myers and Upton can't, especially since two of those 3 have considerable experience in the NL West.

Does Preller think he's playing fantasy baseball instead of the real thing...?

When it comes to the players the Padres have shipped out to those teams, though, it appears that the team has mortgaged a large amount of future value to win in 2015 and/or 2016. San Diego has (or, I guess, had) one of the stronger farm systems in baseball heading into the offseason. While they've managed to hold onto catching prospect Austin Hedges and pitching prospect Matt Wisler, they've still had to send out a lot of potential talent. To acquire Myers, they sent 2014 first rounder Trea Turner to the Rays, who subsequently flipped the shortstop prospect to the Nationals. They shipped lefty prospect Max Fried (currently rehabbing from Tommy John surgery but still one of their top 10 prospects) to the Braves in the Upton deal, along with middle infielder Jace Peterson, who had been one of their more intriguing minor leaguers. They sent pitcher Zach Eflin as part of the package for Kemp to Los Angeles, who also flipped him to Philadelphia for Jimmy Rollins. Not only have these moves changed the face of the Padres, they've also been the catalyst for several other teams to improve on San Diego's behalf.

It's likely the Friars aren't done dealing just yet. As it stands now, the team has 3 catchers, even after sending Yasmani Grandal and Rene Rivera to LA and Tampa, respectively. This is due to the Dodgers sending Tim Federowicz along with Kemp and Ryan Hanigan coming over with Myers from the Rays. After picking up Norris, it seems inevitable that San Diego will deal at least one of the three guys blocking Hedges (UPDATE: They did! Hanigan was traded for Middlebrooks). The team also has approximately 87 outfielders after all these trades, so they've got more than enviable depth to deal from there. Any combination of Will Venable, Seth Smith, Cameron Maybin and the oft-injured Carlos Quentin could feasibly be on the move. Of course, with Kemp's extremely spotty track record, the Pads would do well to keep at least one of those guys. Even after depleting most of the farm system, the Padres still have outfielders like Rymer Liriano and Hunter Renfroe waiting in the wings. They, too, could be dealt, but that seems counterproductive, since they're both still top prospects, both in the Padres' system and baseball overall, and neither has seen any big league action yet.

I can't tell if Quentin's smiling because he knows he might not be in San Diego much longer, or for some other reason.

Moreover, the team still has several positions of need. Even after adding all this firepower, they need warm bodies at shortstop and third base, previously occupied by Everth Cabrera (who probably isn't coming back, after all the headaches caused by his legal troubles) and Chase Headley (who resigned with the same Yankee team that traded for him this past July). Middlebrooks would certainly go a long way towards filling the hole at third, and if he can finally put it all together, he might resemble the star Red Sox fans (read: schmucks) have been waiting for him to become. Turner might have competed for the shortstop job in Spring Training, but even though he can't officially be traded until June as a player to be named later, he's technically a National now. It might be difficult for the Pads to find a team with a solid shortstop that also needs outfield help. They'll have to search high and low for...oh, right! They won't even have to look outside their division. The Rockies have made it clear time and again that they won't deal Troy Tulowitzki for anything less than the contents of Fort Knox, but Preller is a man obsessed and has already shown that he's not afraid to make a trade with a division rival. Then again, this proposal might be better suited for our Crazy Trade series.

Predictions in baseball are about as informed as a fake Ken Rosenthal account on Twitter, and they end up being right almost as often. But I think we can safely say that the Padres' offense will definitely improve by leaps and bounds in 2015. That's pretty easy to do when your team has just recorded one of the worst offensive seasons of all time, but I digress. This winter's acquisitions should give a huge injection to a lineup that was basically Gyorko and seven piles of flaming garbage last year. With a solid rotation fronted by Tyson Ross, Andrew Cashner, Ian Kennedy and Odrisamer Despaigne, and a great bullpen led by closer Joaquin Benoit in a walk year, there's seemingly little to worry about on the pitching side. Taking a flyer on Brandon Morrow and perpetual reclamation project Josh Johnson should provide even further depth on the bump, provided those two stay healthy (which they're not known for).

It's hard to call the Padres contenders just yet. The Dodgers are always looming as a powerhouse, the Diamondbacks should be markedly improved with their own offseason moves, and the Giants just won their third title in 5 years. Still, if a few things break right, it's not out of the question to see the Friars snag a Wild Card spot in the next couple of seasons. And for a team that hasn't played in October since 2006, that might be all they need to bring baseball back to relevance in San Diego.

Talking Turf, Or Breaking The Lawrie.

By now, you've undoubtedly heard of the somewhat seismic trade between the Toronto Blue Jays and the Oakland Athletics this Black Friday, when the A's shipped star third baseman Josh Donaldson to the Jays for erstwhile infielder Brett Lawrie and 3 prospects. The deal was much ballyhooed on the part of the Jays for acquiring an impact guy like Donaldson, and much maligned for Billy Beane's continuing insults to a fan base desperate for a franchise player.

But this isn't about any of that. Lawrie was recently quoted as blaming the artificial turf in Rogers Centre, home park of the Jays, for his myriad of injuries over the last 4 seasons. Lawrie, a native Canadian, claims the turf "treats [his] body kind of silly and throws it off". While there's unquestionably a huge difference between playing on a short-pile synthetic turf and a real field with real grass and real dirt, are Lawrie's woes in particular truly the fault of the stadium? 

Let's take a look at a short list of Lawrie's most devastating injuries, when and where they occurred, and what was broken or strained:

End of 2011: fractured finger during batting practice, September 21st (at Toronto)

Early 2013: broken ankle sliding into 2nd base, May 27th (at Toronto)

Mid 2014: hit on the hand by Johnny Cueto, June 22nd (at Cincinnati)

Late 2014: back tightness, August 5th (at Toronto for one game)

The length of time missed due to these injuries is insignificant here, we just want to see what happened and where to cause Lawrie to land on the DL as frequently as he has. He's only topped 110 games once, when he was in the lineup for 125 contests in 2012. I'm inclined to say that his injuries have mostly been the result of bad luck, but there's no denying that, aside from the HBP from Cueto at Great American Ball Park, they have all taken place at Rogers. That aside, it still feels like the playing surface isn't really to blame here. A finger fracture while fielding balls hit in batting practice seems to be the only one wherein the artificial turf could be responsible. Players twist or fracture their ankles while sliding all the time, a hit-by-pitch is courtesy of a pitcher, and "back tightness" is one of those dummy terms designed to be a catch-all ailment when the team doesn't feel like officially disclosing the current state of a player's health.

Lawrie can't be the only guy who isn't/wasn't crazy about playing 81 games on the synthesized "field". Jays shortstop Jose Reyes has also had a bit of a spotty history since crossing over the border into the Great White North, as he also fractured his ankle while sliding into second during a game against the Royals on April 12, 2013. The difference is that they were playing at Kauffman Stadium, and Reyes returned in late June to finish out the string. When Lawrie goes down, he's usually out for the year. Another Toronto slugger, right fielder Jose Bautista, has also experienced long downtimes since discovering his power swing. The worst example came in 2012, when wrist inflammation caused him to miss the majority of the final two months of the season. However, there was no indication, then or now, that the injury was a result of playing on the field. Finally, DH Edwin Encarnacion has started 234 games at first, third, or left field since the start of 2012. He too missed time with a wrist injury, albeit the last 3 weeks of the 2013 season, but outside of that, he stayed relatively healthy while playing the field.

None of this is meant to discredit Lawrie, or paint him as a surly, injury-prone whiner (even though I might have done just that). Playing on artificial turf has long been viewed as a detriment to an athlete's health. But Lawrie's afflictions in his short career can't all be blamed on the playing field. Some of the unbroken fingers should be pointed to Lawrie's intense style of play. While it's earned him a good deal of praise and accolades thus far, any adherents to the Pete Rose-esque, balls-out type of performance will consequently find themselves riding the pine with a variety of abrasions and contusions. You can't jump into the dugout or the stands to field a pop foul and expect to come out unscathed.

Therefore, it's on Lawrie to prove in 2015 that his injury history was indeed a matter of playing on a faux-grass substance. If he misses significant time or continues to rack up days on the DL, he won't have Rogers Centre to accuse any longer.

Moving Onward And Upward From Heyward.

Opening Day 2010, Cubs at Braves. A 20 year old rookie, getting his first start in the major leagues, steps up to the plate. 60 feet and 6 inches away on the mound, Cubs starter and notorious powder keg of emotion Carlos Zambrano stares the kid down. The kid, for his part, doesn't look nervous. His knees are steady, his bat raised, his wrists loose. Two of the kid's teammates are on base: shortstop Yunel Escobar, and catcher Brian McCann. Although it's only the bottom of the 1st, in the very first game of the season, the score is tied at 3 thanks to a Marlon Byrd homer in the top half of the frame. The game is already on the line, and the kid is put in a precarious position. Zambrano fires one down the middle, and the kid doesn't even think twice. A mighty slash of the air results in the baseball landing some 470 feet away, in the right field bleachers of Turner Field. A thunderous shout of joy erupts from the stadium, and the kid jogs around the bases, a huge smile slowly creeping up on his face.

That should have been the first in a long line of highlights showcasing similar epic moments in the kid's Braves tenure. That home run was a signal, that this kid was ready to take Major League Baseball by storm and, simultaneously, restore a franchise that was only 5 years removed from a dynastic reputation. But sadly, it was not to be. The following seasons would be filled with a mix of disappointment, frustration, and confusion for the kid, his team, and the fans in Atlanta. And now, here we are. The Atlanta Braves have traded right fielder Jason Heyward (and reliever Jordan Walden) to the St. Louis Cardinals for starter Shelby Miller and pitching prospect Tyrell Jenkins.

I really liked J-Hey during his time in Atlanta. I knew several people who claimed he was their favorite player after Chipper Jones retired. He was a Brave through and through, being drafted and developed by the franchise he grew up rooting for in McDonough, Georgia. He was an All-Star in that rookie season, an honor he hasn't earned since. If not for another native Georgian, Giants catcher Buster Posey, Heyward might have won the Rookie of the Year award.  He's absolutely brilliant in the field, never posting fewer than 15 Defensive Runs Saved and always grading out in the double digits where UZR is concerned. His bat has always been tantalizing, but for a myriad of reasons (injuries being the main one, which I'll touch on shortly), he never became the offensive monster we were all expecting. He hasn't hit for much contact since coming up to the bigs, as his .277 average in 2010 still represents a career high. He managed to knock 18 baseballs out of the park that year, and hit 27 in 2012, but has never hit more than 14 in any other season. While his walk rate is spectacular, it took him more than 3 seasons just to get his strikeout percentage down to league average. He's not a free swinger, but he takes a fair share of unnecessary hacks. He's still just 25, though, and it would be foolish to write his hitting abilities off just yet.

However, like so many countless players before (and, presumably, after) him, Heyward simply hasn't been able to stay healthy enough to play a full campaign. In 2 of his 5 seasons, 2011 and 2013, he played less than 130 games. Yes, he's been able to appear in triple-digit games since coming up, but an oft-injured corner outfielder whose defense is more notable than his offense needs to stay on the field to provide maximum value. When he is seemingly well, his minor struggles at the plate become more difficult to explain. Admittedly, he hasn't had any trouble giving the Braves a sizable amount of value: he has yet to post a WAR lower than 2.5 in any given season (according to Baseball-Reference, at least; Fangraphs has that same season at 2.0), and past players comparable to him through age 24 include Carl Yazstremski and some guy named Barry Bonds. There are worst people to be compared to.

While it hurts to lose Heyward, it's vitally important to keep in mind the reason why he's gone. It has nothing to do with his talent, nor his aggravating inability to put it all together at once. Remember last year, when there was a flurry of extensions coming out of the Ted? Freddie Freeman got one, Andrelton Simmons got one, Craig Kimbrel got one, Julio Teheran got one...all to ensure these star players would still be on the team when SunTrust Park opens in Cobb County come 2017. Suspiciously absent from the contract party was Heyward, which was strange considering his free agency was looming much larger (and much sooner) than any of the newly-extended others. Barring an extension from the Cardinals, he'll hit the market at age 26 next offseason, and will likely get a deal for over $150 million if he has a good platform year. He simply priced himself out of Atlanta's budget.

But this isn't a post about Jason Heyward. It may seem like it, since I just spent 5 paragraphs on him, but it's not. This is about the team he's leaving behind. It's clear that the Braves, after an embarrassing first-round exit from the 2013 playoffs and a losing record last season, are fully in rebuild mode. I know the dreaded R-word is scary to read, but this isn't shaping up to be an offseason where the Braves expect to simply retool. Acting GM John Hart isn't reloading for 2015, he's clearly shooting for 2017 and that new ballpark. The team already shipped off incumbent second baseman Tommy La Stella to that same Chicago team mentioned in this post's opening sentence, receiving starter and former Braves farmhand Arodys Vizcaino (as well as the Cubs' 2nd, 3rd, and 4th international bonus slots, after sacrificing their 4th slot in the same deal), and rumors surrounding catcher/left fielder Evan Gattis as well as outfielder Justin Upton would lead one to believe that they aren't done making trades with the future in mind. While either slugger would garner a huge return, the question is whether or not to keep (and potentially extend) them instead. Those two kept the Bravos' offense afloat last year, combing for 51 homers (on a team that hit only 123 long balls) and knocked 154 runs in (out of the 545 RBI all Braves hitters recorded). Losing one or both of those guys would leave a giant hole in the lineup that would be nigh impossible to fill, especially in this era of decreased scoring. Freeman went through a bit of a slump, failing to hit at least 20 homers for the first time in his career and experiencing a 31-point drop in batting average from the year prior (.319 in 2013, .288 this year). Simmons and Chris Johnson were both average at the plate, although Andrelton can at least hang his hat on his mindblowing defensive prowess. And BJ? We won't talk about BJ. You know how bad BJ has been the last 2 years, I don't need to remind you. At least the team finally cut Dan Uggla, a move that came 2 years too late. Simply put, if the Braves are indeed going to trade El Oso Blanco, J-Up or both, they must get position players with power in return. This is a lineup in flux and, sticking with the idea that 2017 is the goal, it's got a long way to go before it intimidates opposing teams again.

The pitching, unlike the hitting, was predictably terrific, thanks in part to Teheran, Alex Wood (who once again split time between the rotation and the bullpen), and respectable seasons from Ervin Santana and Aaron Harang (you'll notice I left Mike Minor, his 4.77 ERA, and his 4.39 FIP off this congratulatory list). Santana will likely walk in free agency, but the team will receive a compensatory draft pick if he does, and Harang is simply another over-the-hill pitcher who enjoyed a resurgence in Atlanta. Any number of available free agent starters could fit the same description next year (Edinson Volquez, for instance, immediately comes to mind). The rotation was fantastic, and the bullpen was dominant once again. Losing Walden in this trade also stings, since his jumpy delivery was deceiving enough to lead him to a 2.88 ERA in 50 relief innings, but any one of Chasen Shreve, David Carpenter, or David Hale could step in and bridge the gap between a starter and Kimbrel. Adding Miller, who is only 24 and has 4 years of team control remaining, should also be a significant boon. A rotation boasting Teheran/Wood/Miller in the first 3 slots may never be mistaken for Maddux/Glavine/Smoltz, but I doubt anyone will complain about having them in control of the ball.

Jason Heyward (and Jordan Walden) will be missed here in the South. Their contributions to the team will not be forgotten. But the dawn of a new era is on the horizon, one in which the Braves are slowly but surely preparing to contend once again. After years of watching this team stand pat while several division rivals became competitive, it's refreshing to see Atlanta take a gamble on the future instead of foolishly expect better days to come instantly.

Going Off The Rails On A Crazy Trade, Part 3.

In this edition of GOTROACT, I completely ignore the fact that the acronym I just came up with is incredible, and I propose a player swap between the Rockies, who would be sending off shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, and the Brewers, who would be trading left fielder Ryan Braun.

All right, even I can't tell if I'm doing this just to be facetious. But bear with me here, because there are a few parallels between these erstwhile superstars: they're both supremely talented but have trouble avoiding season-ending occurrences (injury/suspension); they're both bogging down the payroll of a relatively small-market team, and will do so for the next 6 or 7 years; and they were integral parts of their respective franchises's most recent postseason runs (although it's been 3 years since the Brew Crew appeared in the playoffs, and 5 years since the last Rocktober). Now, it's rare that we see a challenge trade of this magnitude, where both teams are unloading large contracts. In fact, we have to go all the way back to...last offseason, when the Rangers and Tigers shocked everyone by sending Ian Kinsler to Detroit and Prince Fielder to Arlington. While those two contracts have a much larger gap, in terms of remaining money, than that between Tulo and Braun, it was still viewed as a somewhat commensurate deal.

So why would a team shed one of its more onerous contracts just to take on another, similar one? In this case, it would fill a need that may not be as obvious as it seems upon first glance (again, that's kind of the point of all this): Brewers shortstops and Rockies left fielders were both pretty bad last year. In terms of Wins Above Average (WAA), which differs from Wins Above Replacement (WAR) in that players are compared to others at that position in the big leagues instead of determining their value relative to a replacement-level player, Jean Segura combined with several backups to give Milwaukee a league-worst 1.7 wins below average at shortstop in 2014, while Corey Dickerson, Carlos Gonzalez and assorted others gave Colorado a measly 0.3 wins above average in left field. There's no doubt that Tulowitzki would have made for a significant upgrade in the Brewers infield (and, even with his now-annual DL stint, might have been able to keep them afloat long enough to slide into the postseason), and while Braun certainly had a down year after being suspended for the second half of the 2013 season and battling a nerve injury in his thumb (something that does not heal quickly, mind you), there's reason to believe he could come close to his career stats if he played half of his games at the launching pad known as Coors Field.

Of course, this post wouldn't be complete without mentioning the financials, as well as emphasizing the stigma that surrounds both players. Through 2020, Braun is owed a surprisingly low $103 million, with a $20 million mutual option ($4 million buyout) for 2021, and Tulowitzki will make $114 million in that same period of time, with a $15 million team option ($4 million buyout) also for 2021. Assuming both options are picked up, Troy will only make $6 million more than Ryan over the next 7 years ($11 million if both are declined). The difference, if you're a MLB team, is mostly negligible. This is not to say that either figure isn't a huge chunk of either team's current and future payroll, and neither franchise is particularly flush (Milwaukee ranked 16th in terms of payroll last year, right above Colorado at 17th). But when you factor in the going rate for All-Star players in this day and age, those numbers almost look like mistakes. Both Tulo and Braun signed those deals several years ago, before revenue streams increased to the point that even the Mariners could shell out a quarter of a billion dollars to have the pleasure of witnessing Robinson Cano's inevitable decline in person.

As for the aforementioned encumbrances, they play a huge part in either contract getting moved. Braun's suspension for a failed drug test during the 2011 playoffs is common knowledge at this point: after winning the MVP that year, Braun supposedly registered a testosterone level five times higher than the highest result to that point. It was clear that was mostly artificial, and though he postured for a while, falsely accusing the handler of tampering with his urine sample, the Biogenesis documents revealed after the 2012 season seemed to confirm that he had indeed taken PEDs. Since returning from his suspension, he's been reviled by fans around the league, and his numbers took a serious dip last year (again, this is owing mainly to the thumb injury, but try telling that to angry baseball fans tired of hearing about drug scandals). Braun's reputation, although somewhat restored in Milwaukee, is at an all-time low. Tulowitzki has never been suspected of taking any illegal substances, but he's also never been expected to play all 162 games in a season. For that matter, he hasn't played in more than 140 games since 2011, and has played in 100 or more games just once since then. A myriad of injuries is to blame, including a torn tendon in his left quad (2008), a fractured wrist from a HBP (2010), groin surgery that sidelined him for most of the 2012 season, a fractured rib (2013), and a left hip injury that ruined his dominant 2014 season just past the halfway mark. Again, while he's the best offensive shortstop when he's on the field, he's hardly on the field anymore. Players that are prone to injury are often referred to as snakebitten. Tulowitzki must live in a snake pit.

This trade, believe it or not, will never come to fruition. Both Braun and Tulowitzki have too much remaining money due, and do not instill enough faith that they'll continue to perform at their sky-high levels, to be traded anywhere, let alone for each other. Hell, even I didn't have a strong investment in this idea. I practically argued against my suggestion throughout this post. Stay tuned for another edition of Arguing With Myself...I mean, GOTROACT. Man, I love that acronym.

Going Off The Rails On A Crazy Trade, Part 2.

As per the title and preceding post, we're back to give you another seemingly ridiculous trade proposal that actually makes a little sense. This time, I suggest that the Marlins trade right fielder Giancarlo Stanton to the Mariners for starting pitchers Taijuan Walker and Danny Hultzen, corner infielder D.J. Peterson, cash considerations, and a player to be named later.

Before you start brandishing those pitchforks, Marlins fans, I'd like to ask all 8 of you (zing!) to calm down and hear me out. Stanton is a monster. You know it, and the rest of us know it too. We all know it so well, in fact, that I don't think it's necessary to spend too much time explaining why the Mariners would want him. Every team in baseball wants him. He's a home run machine (154 in his short career), with outrageous power during an era where power is severely lacking across the game. He's still very young, and will play all of next season at the relatively tender age of 25. He's led the NL in slugging twice, the first of which (2012) he led all of MLB.

Here's where this idea becomes insulting: I'm suggesting that he spend even a small portion of his career watching line drives die in the cavernous confines of Safeco Field. This is definitely one of the more ludicrous landing spots for the young slugger. Plus, it's difficult to assess his true value, considering he's not in the commonly accepted "prime" years (while every baseball player is unique like a snowflake, these flecks tend to peak between the ages of 27 and 32 before melting) yet he's already accomplished so much with the bat. He even grades out as a pretty good fielder, with positive UZR and DRS marks every season except 2013. Hell, the only deal wherein Miami could really get commensurate value is if they shipped him to Anaheim, and even then they'd probably have to take Josh Hamilton off the Angels' hands to get Mike Trout.

So let's just look at why a trade with Seattle might be easier to abide. There's no denying that Safeco seriously suppresses home runs, but to what extent? It's 12th in baseball in home runs allowed, with 1.053 home runs allowed per game over the course of a full season (anything over 1.000 is considered to favor the batter over the pitcher), which is higher than I thought it would rank. Admittedly, it rates even lower when you isolate right-handed hitters, with a HR% (home runs per at-bat) of 2.37 percent, only ahead of Busch Stadium (Cardinals), Kauffman Stadium (Royals), PNC Park (Pirates), and...Marlins Park? Wait, seriously? Stanton's been wreaking this kind of havoc in a park that's actually LESS conducive to his power than Safeco? This might be less insane than I originally thought.

No, no, it's still squirrel-feces nutty. But there's reason to believe that Stanton could do a similar amount of damage, if not more, in Seattle than Miami. Of course, he'd have little lineup protection outside of Robinson Cano and the resilient Kyle Seager (with the slim possibility of Hanley Ramirez, if the recent rumors are to be considered valid), but what protection does he have now? Christian Yelich? Adeiny Hechavarria? Casey McGehee's one-year blip? Give me a break. He would add serious right-handed power to a starting nine that currently hosts a single righty, Mike Zunino, who despite being a catcher with a sub-.200 BA still managed to swat 22 long balls in 2014. After musing that I didn't need to explain why anyone would want Stanton, I'll finish by ending my fourth paragraph on the subject.

Now we look at what the Marlins would receive in return for The Player Formerly Known As Mike. Taijuan Walker has long been the crown jewel of Seattle's farm system, and those fruits finally came to bear last season with a 2.61 ERA (3.68 FIP) and 34 strikeouts over 38 innings (5 starts, 8 games). Keep in mind that he only turned 21 after those first 3 appearances, and will spend most of next season at that age. Combine that with his solid minor league numbers, his 4-pitch arsenal highlighted by a nasty slider, and his increasing control over said pitches, and Walker could easily contend for Cy Young votes in the near future. He's already part of an impressive rotation, behind King Felix Hernandez, Hisashi "Flying Salmon" Iwakuma (still the undefeated champion of Best Baseball Nicknames) and fellow top prospect James Paxton. But if he was on the Marlins, he'd be throwing with Nathan Eovaldi (formerly of the Dodgers, still of the 95.7 MPH fastball), Henderson Alvarez (who seemingly throws complete games at will), and of course, Jose Fernandez once he's fully recovered from Tommy John surgery. Throw Hultzen into the mix to compete with Jarred Cosart, Tom Koehler, and Andrew Heaney for the last two spots, and the Marlins suddenly have a very strong, enviable amount of depth at starting pitcher. They could even deal one or two of the aforementioned also-rans for some significant infield help. Of course, they'd get some in Peterson, a top prospect with experience at both first and third (for when McGehee or Garrett Jones go through their annual slumps), which would help assuage some of the offensive woes sure to follow with Stanton's departure. Or turn Hultzen into a closer, and deal incumbent Steve Cishek for more firepower in the lineup. Really, having that much young starting pitching to deal from (or to cover for any regulars that get injured) is a godsend.

Again, this trade will never happen. Stanton will command much more in a deal than three young but mostly unproven players and the promise of future compensation (plus, a trade is further complicated by the massive 13 year, $325 million extension that is rumored to be nearing an agreement), Walker is likely staying put, and Hultzen/Peterson/money/PTBNL just isn't enough to convince Marlins owner/professional asshole Jeffrey Loria to part with the one player he doesn't want to sell. But hey, isn't that the whole point of these posts? It is. And we'll have another stupid trade idea soon.

Going Off The Rails On A Crazy Trade, Part 1.

I hate the offseason. Hate hate hate it. Every month in between the last pitch of the World Series and the first pitch of Spring Training feels like a decade. Of course, there's the salve of the Hot Stove, and the constant rumors flying around about which free agent will sign with what team, or which player(s) will be traded and where, soothe my soul considerably. It's not much, but I'll take it.

Invariably, though, the offseason provides the less intelligent fans of this great sport with ample opportunity to wax moronic about these wheelings and dealings. Bad MLB (@BadMLB) is a wonderful Twitter account that corrals many of these hilarious trade proposals in one convenient location, and is a must follow for any baseball fan as cynical as I am. There's simply no shortage of awful trade ideas in our collective fandom.

So, if you'll allow me, I'd like to start adding some of my own.

Now, some of these trades might actually make a little bit of sense. Unlike many of my fellow bloggers, I'm not in the market to display my dearth of baseball knowledge; it should be apparent by now that I kind of know what I'm talking about when it comes to what happens on the diamond. These are simply ideas that I (or those close to me on a comparable level of understanding) think are worth exploring, if only in the alcoves of this insignificant, unimportant website. 

With that in mind, here's an interesting proposal courtesy of my younger brother: Tigers second baseman Ian Kinsler and cash to the Braves for catcher Evan Gattis and reliever Chasen Shreve.

It's no secret that second base has been a vacuous hole in Atlanta since the end of the 2010 season. The deal for Dan Uggla might not have even been made had Brooks Conrad not punted some easy plays during that season's NLDS loss to a Giants team en route to their first of 3 WS titles in 5 years. But he did, it was, and here we are on the other side. Even though the Bravos gave up little of consequence (unless you count Omar Infante taking two teams to the Fall Classic, neither of which were the Marlins), the Uggla deal will likely stand as the worst trade-and-sign in franchise history. Sure, he was the first second baseman with 5 consecutive seasons of 30+ home runs. Of course, his 33-game hit streak in 2011 was damn impressive. He was even the starting second baseman for the NL in the 2012 All-Star Game (admittedly, Rafael Furcal was the starting shortstop, so it wasn't a particularly strong year for middle infielders in the Senior Circuit). But his shoddy defense, combined with a batting average that never strayed too far away from the Mendoza line, made him an easy target for fan frustration. He was benched during the 2013 NLDS loss to the Dodgers, and released halfway through this season. He's still owed $15 million next year. The Braves are not a big-market team; what amounts to a rounding error for the Yankees can crush Atlanta for longer than you might think. At this point, it seems nigh impossible to recoup any value from Dan's time at the Ted.

Kinsler, while no spring chicken himself, is still performing at an All-Star level. Although the power he displayed in 2009 (31 homers) and 2011 (32 homers) continues to elude him, he still knocked in 92 runs and scored 100 for a Tigers team that lacked the offensive punch it had when Prince Fielder was still clogging up the cold corner. Although he is extremely pop-up friendly, and his days of going 30-30 are most likely over, his triple slash line makes him look like Rogers Hornsby compared to Uggly. He's also been one of the best defensive second basemen in the game over the last several seasons (UZR has him at 19.5 for 2014, and DRS has him pegged at 71 runs saved, both career highs by a mile), and he can still steal a good number of bases. His contract would be somewhat prohibitive as well, since he's owed $41 million through 2017, with a $12 million team option ($5 million buyout) for 2018. Again, chump change for a Detroit team that seems to stay solvent while the city around it crumbles, but a huge commitment for the smaller-market Braves. Thus, the kicking in of cash. The Tigers might have to agree to eat at least half the contract for this deal to go down. What they would get in return, though, might be the final pieces necessary to propel them back into the World Series.

Don't worry, I didn't know this was Chasen Shreve either.

Gattis has been an absolute force in Atlanta over the last two seasons, blasting 43 home runs in just 723 at-bats over that span. He's a bit of a defensive liability behind the plate and in left field, but with the added benefit of the DH spot in the AL, he would provide a much cheaper alternative for the Tigers than resigning Victor Martinez after an MVP-caliber season. Even considering the money Detroit would send to Atlanta in this scenario, they'd have enough cash freed up to take a flyer on some middle-tier free agents such as Melky Cabrera (a switch hitter like V-Mart who can also play a solid left or center field) or Asdrubal Cabrera (who's had success in the AL Central and shown some pop in his career) to add some lineup protection for Gattis and Miguel Cabrera (...Cabrera). I shouldn't have to explain why the Tigers could use Shreve, a young, solid, left-handed reliever, but I will anyway (much to nobody's surprise): the big story surrounding Detroit's early exit from this year's playoffs, and indeed their unceremonious defeats every year since 2011, is their lack of a dominant bullpen. The team has had disgustingly powerful lineups, and rotations to match (pre-Justin Verlander meltdown), but handing any lead to their late-inning guys has long been a recipe for disaster. They sought to remedy that this past offseason, bringing Joba Chamberlain and Joe Nathan on board, and they traded for Joakim Soria when the former duo predictably blew up. Alas, it was to no avail. Al Albuquerque, aside from having a name that is a pain in the ass to type, was of little consequence (admittedly, he lowered his ERA a full 2 runs from 2013), Bruce Rondon still had trouble harnessing his blazing fastball, and even hardcore Tigers fans couldn't identify Blaine Hardy by looks alone. Hardy was the lone lefty until Kyle Lobstein was taken out of the rotation. Shreve, while only appearing in 15 games as a midseason callup, notched a 0.73 ERA with 15 strikeouts in 12 1/3 innings (good for a 10.9 K/9). It wasn't just luck, either: he had a FIP of 1.43. 12 1/3 innings is an incredibly small sample size, but for a 23 year old, it's nothing to turn your nose up at.

This trade won't happen. Kinsler just arrived in Detroit this time last year and made a great first impression. Gattis will fetch much more in a trade than an over-the-hill middle infielder and salary relief. And Shreve could be the next sturdy bridge to infallible closer Craig Kimbrel. But a man can dream, right? Stay tuned for our next installment, where we'll discuss another insane trade possibility that might not seem so crazy when you really look at it.

A Lesson In Dispelling Three Decades Of Futility.

All my life, I've listened to my mother, a Kansas City native, wax poetic about the days when the Royals were the talk of the baseball world. George Brett, Frank White, Willie Wilson, Bret Saberhagen, Dan Quisenberry...these were the men who made the Midwest feel like a palace. But 1985 was a long time ago. I wouldn't even be born until 5 years later. In that timespan, the Royals have played 29 seasons. They've had a winning record in 7 of them. And in between the moment when Andy Van Slyke flied out to Darryl Motley to end Game 7 of that year's Fall Classic against the crosstown rival Cardinals, and the moment when Mike Moustakas threw across the diamond to Eric Hosmer to get J.J. Hardy out at first to seal Game 4 of this year's ALCS encounter with the Orioles, there hasn't been any reason for me to believe that these Royals, these sneaky speedsters and streaky sluggers, would ever bear any resemblance to the men that made my mom love baseball.

But here we are. The Kansas City Royals will be playing in the 2014 World Series.

That's not a sentence I ever expected to think, type, or read.

This isn't entirely unexpected. I mean, it's certainly surprising. The KC boys are the first team to ever make the playoffs after coming in dead last in both home runs and walks. In fact, the Royals were the only team this season that didn't notch a triple-digit figure in homers. But that belies the fact that this team was actually pretty effective when it came to scoring: they ranked in the top 10 in the American League in runs, RBI and total bases, the top 5 in hits, doubles and triples, and their team batting average of .263 was second only to the Tigers. For all the talk about them lacking a true power hitter (Alex Gordon, whose defense has long been his calling card, led the team with 19 long balls), the Royals didn't seem to have much of a problem finding other ways to score. Eric Hosmer and Billy Butler hit a combined 18 homers, and Mike Moustakas (he of the 4 dingers through 8 postseason games so far) was demoted to Triple-A Omaha in late May due to a complete power outage. In spite of those hitters not muscling balls over the fence, the Royals' offense stayed afloat. Speed, of course, played a humongous part: they stole 153 bases, 31 more than the runner-up Astros. Jarrod Dyson and Alcides Escobar both ranked in the top 10 (in both leagues!) in swiped bags with 36 and 31 respectively. The story throughout October has been about the Athletics, Angels and Orioles all trying to stop the Royals' running game, and all of them failing to do so.

Of course, no story about this team would be complete without focusing on their bread and butter: the pitching. James Shields, acquired in a trade with Tampa Bay early in the 2012 offseason that I shouldn't have to remind anybody of, was their nominal and literal ace, while Jeremy Guthrie, offseason signing Jason Vargas, rookie Yordano Ventura, and reclamation project Danny Duffy kept the extremely dominant bullpen (more on them later) from getting too overworked. Even though they ranked 10th in the AL in innings pitched, they were 4th in starters' ERA, 5th in shutouts, 2nd in quality starts, and 7th in WHIP. In the playoffs, the first 4 have been good if not great, combining for a 3.17, the lowest of all AL teams this postseason. That's without a single appearance by Duffy, who enjoyed his longest, and best, season to date. There's no doubt that the Royals' starters are vital to their success. That bullpen, though...

The scariest part about this team was the idea that if they got through the 6th inning of any given contest with a lead, a victory was all but assured. That's thanks entirely to Kelvin Herrera, Wade Davis, and closer Greg Holland. These relievers combined to make the 2014 Royals the first team to have 3 pitchers who all recorded an ERA under 1.50 with 60 or more innings pitched. They tied with the same Orioles they just eliminated for the most saves in the AL, with 53 saves notched. That's not insignificant: Herrera is a flamethrower who consistently crosses up the league's best hitters; Davis, a throw-in from the Shields trade, had one of the most dominant seasons for a reliever in history; and Holland continued his 9th inning prowess, extending his reputation as one of the best closers in the last 5 years. Through the ALDS/CS, these three allowed just two runs (Davis, ALDS Game 3/Holland, ALCS Game 1) while striking out 13. It's not a stretch to say that without any one of these three men, the Royals don't shut down the opposition with such ease.

And there would be considerably less mobbing on the mound.

We haven't even touched on some of the key players on this team. Terrance Gore is 3-3 in stolen base attempts without seeing a single pitch. Nori Aoki has been a godsend in right field, making some outrageous and potentially game-saving catches. Brandon Finnegan struggled in short relief, but was lights out in the ALDS and was drafted only 4 months ago. Sal Perez's framing and defense has made up for his lack of big hits after his walkoff in the Wild Card game. There really is no shortage of contributors to this magical run in Kansas City.

Will they win the World Series against an opponent to be determined (at the time of this writing, the Cardinals lead the Giants 4-2 in Game 4 of the NLCS, but the Giants currently hold a 2-games-to-1 lead in the series)? Maybe. They'll have home field advantage, just as they did in 1985. They're currently 8-0, the first team in history to ever reel off 8 straight wins in a single postseason. Most importantly, their style of play is very reminiscent of 100-odd years of National League baseball: they get crafty on the basepaths, they employ the sacrifice bunt quite liberally (please, Ned Yost, you don't need to open an inning by giving away an out), and they rely more on defense than offense, even though they can pull several runs out of nowhere, seemingly at will. They could very easily hit the wall against San Francisco or St. Louis, and as my mother has cautioned multiple times since they were down 7-3 in the 8th inning of the Wild Card game, nobody implodes as quickly or suddenly as this team (although, having spent my entire life in the South, I'd argue that the Braves do a nice job of that as well). But until we see some signs of slowing down, there's no reason to doubt these red-hot Royals. Baseball is alive in Kansas City once again, and it's a pretty damn impressive sight.