First, Take A Look At Yourself(ie)

During Wednesday night's game between the Arizona Diamondbacks (eliminated from postseason contention on September 20) and the Colorado Rockies (eliminated from postseason contention back in Spring Training), broadcaster Steve Berthiaume and color commentator/former D'backs manager Bob Brenly spent a solid two minutes at the beginning of the bottom half of the fourth inning making snide comments about a group of young women taking selfies in the stands. David Peralta hit a leadoff single up the middle while this was happening, and the two men took all of two seconds to note this before returning to ridiculing the girls.

Fans of irony will appreciate the call by Berthiaume: "Peralta knocks it into center...David tonight, 2-for-2, leadoff single here in the fourth, and (as the camera once again leaves the field to focus on the unsuspecting group) nobody noticed!" Again, this call comes after a full minute and a half of him and his cohort focusing entirely on these women, making fun of them for missing the action. It was all they had been talking about since returning from the commercial break.



As SBNation.com's Tanya Bondurant and several others pointed out, baseball should embrace the chaos that comes with our heavy reliance on our devices. They have an entire freaking company, MLB Advanced Media, that works exclusively to increase the online presence of all 30 teams. This is usually accomplished by tweets, videos, GIFs et. al. posted by employees of each franchise, but is fueled in large part by the pictures and videos fans take at the game, both of the activity on the field and of themselves enjoying it. For a broadcaster to publicly condemn these women for using their phones to do EXACTLY what the game's higher ups want them to do is absurd.

Beyond that, why on earth would these two think that their comments wouldn't offend anyone watching? Any female at the game, watching it at home, or simply following along on At Bat would (and many did) take umbrage to Berthiaume and Brenly's barrage. The things they said were tasteless and wholly unprovoked past them simply seeing these women taking selfies. I refuse to believe that no male fans were doing the same, although I guarantee that had a group of guys been caught on their phones, the broadcasters wouldn't have made the same disparaging jokes. I personally detest the concept of the selfie, but the needless self-documenting of one's life is in no way exclusive to one sex.

Can't imagine why these girls would rather take pictures of themselves than watch Chad Bettis (who?) pitch to Jarrod Saltalamacchia (ugh). Courtesy MLB.com

Two points really stand out to me: First, deterring women from coming to a baseball game is as counterproductive as it gets. It's no secret that MLB's attendance numbers and TV ratings are eons behind those of the NFL, leading to the creation of many programs and events designed to widen the game's appeal. Moreover, the game has made efforts to diversify their ranks and hire well-qualified minorities and women, and added more muscle to their inclusion department, headed by former player Billy Bean, to make the game more LGBTQ-friendly. Baseball wants to get better and be more socially conscious. The problem is that so many people (rather, men) around the game have no frame of reference for it.

I don't need to remind you how players like Torii Hunter and Daniel Murphy reacted to Bean's efforts, but I will to illustrate my point: most baseball players, likely as a result of their fierce competitiveness, are stubborn to a fault. They're so resistant to change that they've caused baseball to get stuck in stasis when it comes to making the game appealing to people of all genders, races and sexual preferences. If you love baseball, that's all that should really matter in both the clubhouse and the stadium. This game is supposed to unify us as a country, the national pastime in perpetuity; it's not meant to divide us on arbitrary bullshit like taking a picture on your phone.

Second, it comes as no surprise that this was said by announcers employed by the Diamondbacks. Although general manager Kevin "Eye For An Eye" Towers and field manager Kirk "The Enforcer" Gibson have been gone for some time, their spiritual (and actual) replacements - Tony LaRussa and Dave Stewart - aren't exactly the paradigm of sensitivity. For years now, Arizona has employed men who publicly espouse the benefits of hitting another human being with a hard, tiny sphere coming in at roughly the same speed and force as a locomotive, justifying it by the flimsy excuse "You accidentally hit one of ours, we intentionally aim for your MVP's head". That their views on sexism and technology are outdated and ignorant is no great shock.

While it's nice to think that MLB might take notice and hold their emissaries more accountable for the things they say on live television as a result of Berthiaume and Brenly's comments, keep in mind that they swept the whole "players taking dangerous amounts of performance-enhancing drugs with reckless abandon" thing under the rug for the better part of two decades. While new commissioner Rob Manfred has made some great strides already, this gives him an opportunity to improve the social standing of the game, and cement his legacy, early on in his tenure.

Let Go And Let Gomez

The first thing I thought when I heard about Houston Astros outfielder Carlos Gomez telling various New York Yankees to shut up after reacting poorly to his own offensive miscue in a game his team won handily was “Somebody will take on the role of curmudgeon and talk about ‘playing the game the right way’.”

I hate being right all the time. After both benches cleared Tuesday night following Gomez’s outburst caused by a pop fly to center that he believed he could have hit better, Yankees manager Joe Girardi lambasted Gomez during a postgame interview, saying he thinks Carlos should learn to “play the game the 'right way'”.

You want to know the right way to play the game? With passion, drive, and most importantly, enthusiasm. These are adults playing a game ostensibly for children (this applies to athletes in every professional sport, mind you). If you take it too seriously, you begin to miss the point. It’s no wonder that the sport most resistant to cultural shifts continues to see players and managers fighting over the “right way” to play.

I'm guessing that these two aren't discussing the finer points of gun control.
Courtesy Andy Marlin, USA Today Sports

It’s beyond ludicrous that this is considered newsworthy. Furthermore, why is it always Carlos Gomez? This, the tiff in 2014 with Pirates hurler Gerrit Cole, an altercation at home plate with then-Braves catcher Brian McCann in 2013…he’s become a lightning rod simply for having a personality. Are you noticing the problem? Hint: it isn’t Gomez whose actions are unwarranted.

You’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating: Baseball must begin to embrace the fact that we live in the 21^st century. Decades of institutionalized secrecy and adherence to a code both written and not have led to a droning cacophony surrounding the baseball elite. They only hear each other’s voices, blocking out the cries of fans who aren’t offended by bat flips and other ornate celebrations. They can’t seem to concern themselves long enough with improving fan safety or keeping megalomaniacal umpires in check; no, the biggest problem is making sure nobody looks like they’re having fun while playing!

I’m tired of writing about this kind of thing. You’re tired of reading about this kind of thing. Hell, I’m sure Gomez and others of his ilk are tired of defending themselves over this kind of thing. Until there's a sea change in perception, though, we'll be plagued by stubborn ballplayers policing each other and ensuring somber compliance rules every day of the week that ends in Y. 

THIS IS INFURIATING AND HIGHLY DETRIMENTAL TO THE GAME'S REPUTATION
Courtesy Andy Marlin, USA Today Sports

Perhaps the most curious thing, at least to me, is why other players so readily chastise their peers for trying to infuse some flair into the game. I get out-of-touch owners and executives taking offense, because they come from a time when players were unflinchingly respectful of the governing rules and customs. To them, seeing a player with any sort of attitude is unforgivable.

Fellow players should seemingly be more understanding, though, and take a lighter stance on the matter. After all, you never know when you could be chewing out a future teammate. Plus, if you had to stand up for your right to show your emotions, wouldn't you want supporters that understand your plight better than anyone else? What do you gain by needlessly creating tension between yourself and a coworker? Doesn't that just make everybody's jobs more unpleasant? 

Maybe I'm missing the point, but it seems pointless to keep fighting this battle. Baseball has weathered multiple steroid scandals, a World Series-cancelling strike and accusations of racial/gender inequality in my lifetime. There are bigger problems to attend to than a player having actual feelings.

Tigers Release Dombrowski, Have Given Up On Winning

All good things must come to an end. It stands to reason that the same is true for dominant baseball teams.

Although they’ve won the AL Central title 4 years in a row, the Detroit Tigers’ postseason hopes are all but dissipated after the team shipped incumbent free agents David Price and Yoenis Cespedes out of town.

The return for both players was impressive enough - a package headlined by Daniel Norris from the Toronto Blue Jays for Price and top prospect Michael Fulmer from the New York Mets for Cespedes. However, it sent out a clear signal: the Tigers are shooting for the future at the expense of the present.

The second shot across the bow came yesterday, when owner Mike Ilitch announced that he had released GM Dave Dombrowski from the remainder of his contract which expired at the end of this season. Assistant GM Al Avila (father of Tigers catcher Alex) will assume the position for the interim.

Courtesy Associated Press

It isn’t very surprising that Dombrowski was let go. The Tigers are in dire straits this year, as their bullpen has recorded a cumulative -0.2 WAR (29^th in baseball), their third base and DH situations are similarly untenable at -0.8 and -0.9 WAR (29^th and last in the AL respectively), and Justin Verlander has completed the devolution from dominant ace to dumpster fire.

Admittedly, if I knew the gorgeous Kate Upton was waiting for me at home, I’d probably give up a bunch of homers and get pulled early in most of my starts as well. I'd start intentionally hitting every batter just to get ejected before the end of the first inning.

What does come as a shock isn’t the timing, but rather that it happened at all. Dombrowski comes off this 14-year stint with a sterling reputation, taking the Tigers from utter mediocrity (remember that 119-loss team in 2003? Ramon Santiago is spinning in his grave) to World Series favorites. Even though they will likely miss the playoffs this season, his track record is proven.

He’s the man responsible for acquiring future Hall of Famer Miguel Cabrera back in 2007, signing Cabrera to a deal that ensures he’ll be repping the Olde English D until the Sun burns out, trading for Max Scherzer and Doug Fister just before the string of consecutive division titles, and even building for a future he won’t be part of by sending Price, Cespedes and Joakim Soria (to the Pirates for shortstop prospect/part-time session saxophonist for smooth jazz records JaCoby Jones) for those sweet, sweet prospects.

Courtesy Carlos Osoria, Associated Press

Not many people would have been able to trade the massive contract of the equally gigantic Prince Fielder after his down year in 2013. Not only did Dombrowski manage to deal Fielder, he got Ian Kinsler back in the deal. Kinsler, by the by, has been an integral part of the team’s offense AND defense since coming over, while Fielder is bouncing back from a lost 2014.

This move is obviously more reactive than proactive, symbolic of the team's poor performance rather than a result of it. Dombrowski can only acquire the players; field manager Brad Ausmus and the players themselves are responsible for drawing on their talents to win baseball games. There’s always got to be a sacrificial lamb, though. In this case, Dombrowski is the goat.

Don’t cry for Dombrowski. He’s a smart man and a brilliant baseball mind. He was also at the helm of the Marlins when they won their first World Series back in 1997. If Davey boy can survive toiling under both Ilitch AND notorious scumbag Jeffrey Loria, he can do just about anything. He will find work again, and he will likely find it soon. There are already whispers of him joining the Red Sox, Angels and/or Blue Jays.

As for the Tigers...yeesh. Does anybody have Dmitri Young's phone number??

Losing The Good Phight.

The Philadelphia Phillies are one of baseball's most frustrating franchises as of late. Since a run of dominance that saw them make the postseason for 5 straight seasons (2007-11), including a World Series title and two straight WS appearances, the Phils have been mismanaged at every single level. They don't perform well on the field, they don't draft well, and they don't make smart trades or free agent signings. A rotten fish stinks from the head, but it appears the dorsal fin gets cut first: Ryne Sandberg, the Hall of Fame second baseman who has managed the Phillies since Charlie Manuel stepped down halfway through 2013, resigned this morning. Sandberg compiled a 119-159 record (.428 winning percentage) during his time at the helm, although the bulk of the blame for the dismal state of things in Philadelphia should be placed on GM Ruben Amaro Jr.

Courtesy Bill Streicher, USA Today Sports

It's not surprising to see Sandberg resign while Amaro Jr. remains in power. The field manager is often the first person to take on the role of sacrificial lamb when a team is going badly, while the general manager gets more rope as the architect of the roster. While this makes absolutely no sense, it's simply the way of the baseball world. But how much can Sandberg or anybody do with a lineup that still bats Ryan Howard fourth? What do you do with a rotation that hosts Cole Hamels and four belly-itchers? Seriously, you could replace the entire Phillies outfield with mannequins wearing gloves and nobody would notice a difference. They're even trying their level best to ship their closer (the much-maligned Jonathan Papelbon) out of town when he's one of the few pitchers on the roster with an ERA below 4. Their farm system, outside of Aaron Nola and J.P. Crawford, is scorched earth. This is a team without direction or reinforcements. There is little to look forward to in the Phillies' future.

None of this, mind you, is Sandberg's fault. He is simply an extension of the front office, just like every other manager in the game. He's handed 25 players at the beginning of the year and told to draw every ounce of talent out of them. That much is under his control: the manager is really supposed to balance personalities, to make sure the clubhouse stays loose. Chemistry between teammates has become a vital part of successful franchises, and successful managers should perpetuate a mentality that every player is important, respected and treated fairly. In this regard, Sandberg's failures are myriad and troubling: his clashes last season with longtime Philadelphia shortstop Jimmy Rollins (now of the Los Angeles Dodgers) brought to light the tension between Sandberg and his players; his decision to have outfielder Jeff Francoeur throw 45 pitches in a blowout loss to the Orioles last week drew harsh criticisms from second baseman Chase Utley, among others; his tendency to leave pitchers in too long has been an overall point of contention. It's upsetting when a manager calls out his own players, something Sandberg did with extreme prejudice during his time in Philadelphia. Simply put, he was thrown into a bad situation, and all he did was make things worse.

That being said, Amaro Jr. is still the biggest detriment to the Phillies. His trade demands for Hamels and Cliff Lee over the past few years have been incorrigible. His comments about the discrepancy between Rollins and team legend Mike Schmidt's batting averages when the former tied the latter for the franchise's all-time hit record were dumbfounding. It's no secret that the Phillies are one of the least analytically-inclined teams in the game, but if your GM doesn't understand the correlation between hits and at-bats, he isn't even fit to watch a major league team, much less run one. Amaro Jr. is in the last year of his contract, and with the imminent regime change (rumors have been flying that Andy MacPhail will be replacing Pat Gillick as team president soon), it seems very likely that Ruben will be jobless come 2016. I'm not saying that this will immediately improve the sorry state of the team, but it would be the definition of "addition by subtraction".

Buy Me Some Peanuts And Computer Hacks.

I have to say, for as well acquainted as I am with baseball history, I don't think anything quite like this has happened before: the St. Louis Cardinals, or at least certain employees within the organization, are currently under investigation by the FBI for last year's hacking of the Houston Astros' database. The database, named Ground Control, was compromised last summer when trade discussions, scouting reports and other internal communications were released on the Internet, many of which described GM Jeff Luhnow's (who had worked in a similar capacity with the Cards before his tenure in Houston) machinations during his massive rebuild of the team.

While little has been confirmed in terms of the main suspect(s), it's been speculated that the culprit(s) carried out the hack to get back at Luhnow. This would make a little more sense if the Astros were still in the same division as the Cardinals, but they jumped from the NL Central to the AL West almost a full calendar year before Luhnow joined the team. There's further speculation that the hack, regardless of who carried it out, was also in retaliation for Luhnow supposedly taking "proprietary information" with him from St. Louis. Luhnow, for his part, has yet to comment on the investigation.

Courtesy Sports Talk Florida

Whatever the motivation, this is a huge blemish on an otherwise immaculate franchise. The Cardinals, both on and off the field, have been the game's most respected team over the past decade: they won 2 World Series in that span, played for the pennant 6 times (including the last 4 seasons), and did so both with and without the legendary Albert Pujols. They draft well, develop those draftees efficiently, and turn them into major league All-Stars and MVP candidates. So why undertake such a destructive action against another team? Why kick the Astros when they're down, as they were at the time of the leak? This goes beyond disgruntled employees or basic pettiness; this is a clear, organizational act of aggression. It's a truly ugly incident, one that will undoubtedly tarnish the reputation of everyone involved.

Dave Cameron pointed out on Twitter the shift in perception of the Astros, especially in light of this investigation:

A year ago, Astros were terrible team, botched draft, didn’t protect their servers. Now? Good team, right about Aiken, robbery victims.

— David Cameron (@DCameronFG) June 16, 2015

If those who perpetuated the hack were trying to destroy Luhnow, it appears that they've done quite the opposite. Like Cameron said, the Astros are actually contending ahead of schedule, and Luhnow's much-ballyhooed process seems to finally be paying dividends. In other words, he's starting to deliver on his promise, turning the team in Houston into a reasonable facsimile of the one he constructed in St. Louis.

It's likely that we won't get many details on the identities of the hackers anytime soon, if ever. Major League Baseball can always choose to handle the matter clandestinely once the federal investigation concludes, although if previous scandals are any indication, we'll know the names soon enough. If it turns out that current GM John Mozeliak, owner Bill DeWitt Jr. or any other executive had knowledge of the hack or, worse, approved the actions of those who did the deed, heads are sure to roll with a rapidity we haven't seen since Rickey on the basepaths. Either way, this is corporate espionage of a caliber we've never seen in the game, and baseball must make an example out of the person(s) responsible.

Let Them Play, Straight Or Gay.

Tradition is vitally important to everyone. Regardless of where your spiritual beliefs lie, you undoubtedly hold some activities or customs sacred. Plenty of cultures are set in their ways, with most adherents raised to perpetuate those conventions forever. It's difficult to think of another institution, though, that holds on so dearly to its past, or views it with such reverence, as Major League Baseball. No other sport has been so resistant to change, be it technological (instant replay, social media presence, etc.) or cultural (diversification has long been a prominent issue). While holding fast to outdated concepts can be reassuring or comfortable, change is as crucial to growth as tradition.

Therein lies baseball's biggest problem: their complete and utter aversion to change. Both the NFL and NBA have embraced the cocky swagger of their biggest stars; in fact, they've shrewdly marketed those athletes to great effect. Whether or not you like them, it's impossible to be a sports fan and remain unaware of every move LeBron James, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning make. They are eminently in the face of every sports fan on earth, something that can't be said about any baseball player outside of Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez (for completely different reasons). You can throw Mike Trout, Andrew McCutchen and Clayton Kershaw in that category, but even those three aren't instantly recognizable to everyone. Although the sport is more profitable than ever before, it still struggles to keep pace with those other leagues in terms of popularity. It seems silly to even have this discussion, because the solution is so glaringly obvious: give baseball some attitude. Becoming more "urban", to turn a phrase, is not a bad thing. Racial and ethnic diversity has only strengthened the appeal of basketball and football, and turned them into athletic monoliths. Baseball players want the freedom to express themselves to the same extent. There's no harm in letting them do so.

Understandably, the same sport that blackballed Jim Bouton hasn't come very far in the intervening decades since Ball Four pulled back the curtain for baseball fans. The culture surrounding the game is still mired in relative secrecy, players forced to tone down their personality for the sake of playing the game "the right way". This is seemingly nothing more than pandering to older fans, those who still remember the supposed good old days when ballplayers were viewed as demigods, instead of the sleazy, sexist jerks they are in actuality. I'm not saying players today are completely unscrupulous (as their past counterparts truly were), because many of them are clean-cut, respectable men. Still, even current players try to curb the enthusiasm of their peers: how many times has Carlos Gomez been beaned for supposedly admiring a long home run?

Beyond allowing players to express themselves with on-field celebrations, an even more sensitive scenario has arisen. Billy Bean (the former player and openly gay man, not the current Athletics GM/human trafficker) was hired by Major League Baseball last July as an "ambassador for inclusion", in the hopes of making the sport more friendly and appealing to LGBTQ people. To his credit, one of his first acts was going around to all 30 clubhouses during Spring Training, speaking on the merits of acceptance and compassion to 750 men who seemingly know nothing about either. For all the good Bean has done and continues to do, players like Torii Hunter (a staunchly religious player who has expressed his homophobia on multiple occasions) and Daniel Murphy (who explicitly said he "disagree[s] with the lifestyle" after Bean spoke to his Mets comrades) appear to have missed the point, undercutting his hard work. Keep in mind, this is the sport that didn't allow African Americans to play with white athletes for 70-something years. Members of the LGBTQ community, it stands to reason, face an even steeper uphill battle. Who will be the gender-fluid Jackie Robinson? Will there ever be a gay Larry Doby? Which person will be the first to break through, and as importantly, which executive for which team will be the one to take the plunge? Branch Rickey is almost as celebrated as the man who took a chance on Robinson, and their story of triumph against racial prejudice is well-known. But in this era, when sexual assault and harassment has turned into a monstrously prevalent issue, baseball seems to be dragging its feet. Admittedly, it's the NFL that has been rocked by abuse scandals more recently, but that only gives MLB every reason to jump out in front and show the world that it's the socially progressive association it's been making itself out to be for years.

That brings up another point: the cognitive dissonance on display in baseball is almost laughable. The higher-ups tout their game as the sport of inclusion, while simultaneously doing everything they can to dispel that notion. Unless I've missed something, and inclusion now means "accepting of everybody as long as they're male, Christian and straight". As little as they've done to make the product on the field more diverse, even less has happened in front offices. Ignoring the fact that only two managers (Lloyd McClendon and Fredi Gonzalez of the Mariners and Braves, respectively) are not white males, most teams have few to no minority or female executives, and even MLB's central office has seen a precipitous drop recently in the same areas. For baseball to truly be inclusive, they need to include everybody. Again, this seems simple enough to an ignorant blogger, so it would stand to reason that people far smarter than me feel the same way. That only makes the relative lack of diversity more confounding.

In all fairness, The Institute of Diversity and Ethics in Sport (TIDES) points out that baseball does a fairly good job of hiring women and minorities. Even considering that, though, the sport's employment figures for those groups fall well short of the number of white males. If baseball is truly going to be the sport that most supports racial and gender equality, they've still got a ways to go. People like Bean have voices that need to be heard, and it's high time we as sports fans listen.

Thoughts On Baseball's Greatest Villain, or Another Hastily Written A-Rod Think Piece.

He's as polarizing a ballplayer as Pete Rose, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens, firmly entrenched in the upper echelon of baseball's most horrendous offenders while somehow maintaining a vocal (if not numerically strong) support base. He's vain to a fault, seemingly unconcerned with the increasingly negative way he's viewed in the public eye. He's a cheater, using banned substances well after they were outlawed. He's a sideshow, always bringing a maelstrom of articles and blog posts (like the one you're reading now) with every move he makes. We have a certain expectation by now, and he never fails to meet it, rueful though he/we may be about it. In spite of all of this, he's one of the greatest players in the game's history by the numbers, though certainly not by reputation. You can't predict baseball, but you can predict Alex Rodriguez.

I can't tell if he's looking at a fly ball or the uphill PR battle he knows he can't win.

You've heard this story before. You've heard it more times than you can even remember, and you've damn sure heard it more times than you ever wanted. Sadly, the debate raging over Rodriguez's place among the all-time greats is one that promises to continue to burn. With his pinch-hit homer last night against the Red Sox, he finally tied Willie Mays for 4th place all-time on the home run list at 660. This should have been cause for wild celebrations across the baseball world. There should have been a sudden boom of babies named A-Rod. Men were supposed to cheer until hoarse, women were supposed to cry until dehydrated, and children were supposed to be in rapt awe of their hero, their champion, their favorite baseball player. So where is the fawning, the adoration, the sheer excitement? Where are the gushing tributes on ESPN and MLB/YES Networks? Do I really have to tell you why this isn't the seminal occasion it would be had he done all of this legitimately, the proverbial "right way"?

No, the most intriguing part of A-Rod's ascent is whether or not the Yankees will pay out the $6 million he's due as per that ridiculous contract. They'll claim he violated the terms of the deal by way of his steroid usage, and that argument may carry more weight in front of an arbitration panel than you may think. Yes, the team is contractually obligated. Sure, they knew what they were getting themselves into when they offered that massively misguided pact to a player coming off another MVP-winning season back in 2007. Of course, nobody could have foretold Rodriguez's rapid fall from grace (unless, you know, you realized that giving a 32 year old athlete a 10-year deal would MAYBE not play out so well in its entirety). But does cheating your way to the top justify the benefits that come with such a position? As we know quite well by this point, most people would say it does not.

This could have been another reverential moment in the history of a franchise chock full of them, but it will now serve as an embarrassing display of excess, the world's richest sports team and the world's richest baseball player arguing over what amounts to a rounding error for both. It will stand as the moment that the problems caused by the Steroid Era finally came to a head, with baseball's last prominent juicer trying to clear his name and make his money while everything burns around him. It seems like there's no upper limit to Rodriguez's ability to infuriate everyone who knows his crimes, his self-serving ways perpetuating themselves to no end. While he's assumed the humble, team-player persona in 2015, that doesn't erase the grandiose arrogance and flagrant disregarding of the game's written and unwritten rules he demonstrated in the 15 years (and possibly longer) prior to now. This is a tremendous historical event, and nobody cares purely because of who's involved.

Even though the person involved is apparently some kind of telekinetic wizard? That has to count for something...

It's easy to say that Rodriguez should be ashamed of himself, that he shouldn't accept the money even if the Steinbrenners simultaneously slip into senility and offer it up willingly. In all fairness, there are some who wonder if he truly deserves to keep playing the bad guy, a role he seemed ill-suited for even 5 years ago. "How long can this unrelenting flagellation go on?", you may ask. Well, Rose is still waiting for his reinstatement, 26 years after being banned. Shoeless Joe Jackson, who by all accounts didn't earnestly participate in the Black Sox Scandal in 1919, still remains outside of baseball's good standing nearly a century later. We as baseball fans may forgive to an extent, but we don't forget. Bonds and Clemens won't make it into the Hall of Fame in their lifetimes, if at all, and we really only have speculation and visual "proof" that they took steroids. We have an admission AND several failed tests for A-Rod. His money is in the bank, his numbers eternally carved into the all-time lists. But make no mistake, Alex Rodriguez will never escape the denigration of public opinion. As he continues to inch up those lists (just 54 more until he ties Babe Ruth!), it will only intensify, the jeering of those who once clamored for his mammoth blasts rising towards a crescendo that will be sustained for decades. And he has nobody to blame but the doe-eyed monster staring back at him in the mirror.

So give him the money. Give him what he's owed, because he IS due at least that much. Buster Olney of ESPN put it best when he said this, shortly after Rodriguez's suspension for his involvement in the Biogenesis mess was announced in July 2013:

A-Rod is Charles Foster Kane of Citizen Kane as he nears the end of his baseball life: In his castle, surrounded by riches, without allies.

— Buster Olney (@Buster_ESPN) July 25, 2013

Really, what harm is there in paying the man? What he gains in monetary value, he's lost in fan perception, a blow much more damaging than anything financial. Alex Rodriguez had a chance to be baseball's golden god, the man deserving of the "greatest of all time" title. Now, he's little more than a punchline. A well-compensated punchline, at least.

TBF's Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner - April 21th

Let's dive right into today's FKFK the same way we always do.

Buy Buy Buy - Alfredo Simon, SP, Detroit Tigers
If I told you 3 years ago that in the 2015 season, the Tigers rotation would be led by a right-handed power pitcher with a strong fastball, you'd have probably laughed and said "No way, Justin Verlander will be pitching for another team by then." Well, idiot from 3 years ago, I hate to tell you this, but not only is JV still in Detroit, but we aren't talking about him. An offseason acquisition from the Reds, Simon, 33, had a renaissance year in 2014, pitching to a 3.44 ERA (4.33 FIP) in 196 1/3 innings, his first season as a starter since 2011. He won't ever be a big strikeout hurler, as the 7.67 K/9 he posted back in 2012 still represents a career high, and the low BABIP is also a sign that regression is due, but if he can continue to limit walks at a 0.87 clip per 9, that will go a long way towards keeping the ERA and FIP roughly in line with each other. While his fastball has dropped this season from 94 MPH to 92, Simon's pinpoint control normally helps him avoid getting into too many jams. He's never posted any particularly overwhelming numbers until last season, and even those put him in the "acceptable" fantasy tier rather than the "must-draft" tier. Still, until the blowup comes to pass, he can add a lot of value to your team. Never thought those words would be uttered about an erstwhile murderer.

Sell Em If You Got Em - Mike Zunino, C, Seattle Mariners
Nobody expects a lot of fantasy-relevant numbers to come out of any backstop, but if you're one of the hundreds of people that saw 22 homers next to Zunino's name last year (while somehow ignoring the .199 average), you may have the wool pulled a little too tightly over your eyes. While the 24 year old certainly provides a ton of power from a position not known for it, the rest of Zunino's counting stats suffer mightily even when compared to other catchers. In 196 career games over the last 3 years, he's managed a .261 OBP and a .364 SLG. When you're struggling to break the .650 mark in OPS, you're simply unqualified to face major league pitching, even if you can call for it with aplomb. In fact, it's likely that Zunino still has the starting job in Seattle due to the lack of depth behind him: Jesus Montero is still in Triple-A fending off snide remarks about his weight, and Jesus Sucre is a make-believe person with 69 plate appearance over the last 2 years. Just because the Mariners can't afford to let him go doesn't mean you should needlessly cling to him, though. Jason Castro of the Astros is available in 90 percent of Yahoo leagues, and is an eminently better hitter.

Hurlers In The Stream - Dan Haren, SP, Miami Marlins
Haren is one of the more well-traveled pitchers in today's game: since 2010, he's been traded from the Diamondbacks to the Angels, played for the Nationals and Dodgers one year apiece, and then shipped to the Marlins during this past offseason. Haren, 34, has managed to stay steadily employed despite a sharp dropoff in the velocity of his fastball; this is likely due to the heavier reliance on his splitter, which he's throwing more frequently as the miles come off his other pitches. In spite of that, Haren remains a relatively competent major league-caliber starter, and the team he's facing tonight in Philadelphia more closely resembles a disinterested Little League squad than an MLB one. While Chase Utley might give him the fits, there's no other reason to believe this matchup won't end in Haren's favor.

Minor League Korner - Addison Russell, SS/2B, Chicago Cubs
We're kinda cheating here, but nobody's actually reading these posts, so does it even matter? If a fantasy expert gets something wrong and nobody's around to call him on it, was he ever really incorrect? The most recent in a long line of Cubs prospects making their debut in the hopes of turning the big league club around, Russell may have the most upside of them all. A middle infielder with power is a beautiful sight to behold, and the 21 year old has that in spades. He can run and field beautifully, but unless you're playing in a defense league (and let's face it, you probably don't), that isn't going to help you. What will help you if you're a Russell owner is him playing half of his games in the Friendliest of Confines: with the wind blowing out, most hits coming off of Russell's bat should find some part of the ivy at Wrigley Field if nothing else. Slotting him ahead of Kris Bryant in the lineup should also give Russell a boost, as it'll become much harder for pitchers to pitch around him. The future continues to get brighter in Chicago, another nonsensical sentiment.

TBF's Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner - April 20th

Welcome back, fantasy owners and disinterested jerks alike! Hope you all managed to get through the weekend relatively unscathed, and that my "expert" advice has already helped you reach new, imaginary heights. Here we go with week 2 of said advice, in week 3 of the actual MLB season.

Buy Buy Buy - Carlos Rodon, SP/RP, Chicago White Sox
Not to be outdone by their crosstown NL counterparts who called up their own uber-prospect this past weekend (maybe you've heard of him? Kid named Bryant??), the floundering ChiSox are finally promoting Rodon, the third pick in last year's draft and, by all accounts, an absolute force on the bump. While indicative of nothing, Rodon, 22, notched a K/9 of 13.4 in 34 1/3 innings last season, going straight from Single- to Triple-A without missing a beat. He held opponents to a .215 batting average in that same span, which is a lot lower than it may sound (remember, minor leaguers routinely hit over .300). The best news is that you don't need to fret about making space for him in your rotation, because he's slated to start his major league career in the bullpen a la future rotation mate Chris Sale. This way, Rodon won't get too much mileage on his arm before becoming a starter full-time, increasing the likelihood that he and that disgusting slider will last longer through the fatigue of the baseball season. The future looks bright in Chicago, a sentence that hasn't been uttered in decades.

Sell Em If You Got Em - Russell Martin, C, Toronto Blue Jays
It was a nice feel-good moment when Martin, a Montreal native (if only that city had a baseball team...), signed with Canada's only baseball team this offseason, but the jingoism can only go so far. Nobody expected Martin, 32, to replicate the .402 OBP he provided during his final campaign with the Pirates, but he's gotten off to an extremely slow start to begin this season. He's currently sporting a .623 OPS, and I know, small sample sizes, blah blah blah, but the Jays didn't give him $82 million to hit like a Molina (Yadier excluded). Martin's pitch framing abilities are his strongest assets, to be clear, so he isn't expected to be the offensive sparkplug in a lineup that also houses Jose Bautista, Edwin Encarnacion and offseason acquisition Josh Donaldson. Still, a .129 average is ugly no matter how many games have been played to this point. If Martin doesn't get things going soon, you may want to start fielding offers for him on the low end.

Hurlers In The Stream - Anthony DeSclafani, SP, Cincinnati Reds
The linchpin of the Mat Latos trade, DeSclafani was highly touted with both Toronto and Miami before finally making Cincinnati's Opening Day roster this year. He doesn't throw a lot of strikeouts, nor does he prevent baserunners at an impressive rate. What DeSclafani does best, though, is mix his pinpoint command with a fastball that has become his calling card. He issues very few walks, which will be crucial against a Brewers team looking for offense anywhere it can be found. The 25 year old recently added a curveball to his repertoire, and while its efficacy is undetermined as of yet, a solid curve helps cross up a lot of hitters, especially if thrown unexpectedly. The Reds haven't gotten off to the best start, but they could still play saboteur early on and kick the flailing Brewers while they're down. DeSclafani would definitely go a long way to that end.

TBF's Current Standing - After starting the season in 5th place, I beat Zach, the 4th place team, which caused the two of us to flip in the standings. I'm still looking up at three very strong teams, and will be facing the first-place team this week, but I'm confident that my roster will eventually garner me a playoff spot. In our league, 6 teams make the playoffs out of 10, so as long as I can stay above 7th, your favorite writer (I'm assuming) will have another chance to do some real damage come September.

TBF's Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner - April 17th

We've finally reached the end of our first week!! That's right, you fantasy owners are on your own for the weekend. Before that, let's take a look at some guys who could help you get through to Monday (and close out your matchup in style).

Buy Buy Buy - Kris Bryant, 3B, Chicago Cubs
You had to know this one was coming. As expected by every single person on the planet, the Cubs have recalled Bryant from Triple-A to make his major league debut today. The 23 year old has absolutely monstrous power, and you've probably stopped reading this already, haven't you? There's honestly no need for me to explain anything about this kid, but just as a reminder, here's what he provided across Double- and Triple-A last season: .325/.438/.661, 43 homers, 325 total bases, and a dazzling smile. He tore through Spring Training, but was sent back to the minors to work on his defense. Apparently, his defense improved so swiftly that it only took juuuuust enough time to ensure that the Cubs will control Bryant through 2021 instead of 2020. Coincidence? You be the judge. While you'll need to expect a ton of strikeouts to go with all the extra-base hits, is that really going to stop you from making a play for him? If you own him, you're not selling. If he's a free agent in your league, you're playing in a league with absolute morons, including you. God (or Theo Epstein) said, "Let there be light-tower power", and He saw that it was damn good.

Sell Em If You Got Em - Tim Beckham, 2B, Tampa Bay Rays
It feels kinda crummy to advise selling Beckham (on the slim chance he's actually owned in your league), since the former first overall draft pick has had a very difficult road to the majors. Beckham, 25, had a cup of coffee back in 2013, but this is his first year starting at the keystone after the trade that sent Ben Zobrist and Yunel Escobar to Oakland. While he's performed at an acceptable rate through the first handful of games, he's already struck out 9 times in 21 at-bats. He doesn't walk much either, which will kill you in OBP. Is the power worth it? Considering that he's never hit more than 6 homers in a season (and that was back in Triple-A during the 2012 season), I'd have to say no. Beckham has the speed and potential to steal 15 bags in the bigs, but he hasn't swiped a single base yet. In fact, he's only stolen 18 total since the 2013 season began. I know that keeping him off your roster may seem like a given, but you'd be surprised how deep some leagues are. There isn't a league deep enough to justify having Beckham as your second baseman, though...except MLB, I suppose.

Hurlers In The Stream - Drew Hutchison, SP, Toronto Blue Jays
He may not have the same nominal recognition of rotation mates Mark Buehrle, R.A. Dickey or Marcus Stroman, but Hutchison is as vital a cog in the Blue Jays as any of those pitchers. In 184 2/3 innings last season, the 24 year old had a strong left-on-base percentage of 71.2. That's going to be crucial as the Jays take on the Braves at home. While the Atlanta crew has gotten off to a scorching offensive start, something few anticipated, it isn't sustainable: guys like Nick Markakis, Cameron Maybin and (gulp) Alberto Callaspo aren't slugging machines, but they all have the ability to put the ball in play and beat it out. Therefore, having a guy like Hutchison on the bump makes a lot of sense as far as holding the running game. If he mixes his offspeed stuff in more frequently, as he's done in small samples this year, it should be enough to cross up a depleted lineup like the one coming to the Great White North from the South.

Weekend Warrior - Billy Butler, DH, Oakland Athletics
For the first time in his career, Butler will play on the Royals' home field, Kauffman Stadium, as a visitor after signing with the A's this past offseason. Although Kauffman is murder on right-handed sluggers, Butler's OPS is almost 90 points higher there than on the road, .851 to .767. He's off to a fairly hot start this season, something that could boost his chances of having a big weekend. This part is purely sentimental, but he turns 29 tomorrow, and players often reach back and try a little harder on their cake day. I'm not saying you should expect Country Breakfast to steal 5 bases over the course of this series, but a couple of long balls and some timely hits should be in the pipeline for the big man's return to the Midwest.

TBF's Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner - April 16th

Ahh, we've finally hit our first Thursday post. With so few games being played today, this is a fantastic opportunity to scour your league's waiver wire (or, in most cases, the rosters of your opponents) for some impact guys who could help you this weekend and beyond. As we always do, we'll take a look at a select few right here and now.

Buy Buy Buy - Paul Goldschmidt, 1B, Arizona Diamondbacks
There really hasn't been any reason to root for the Diamondbacks as of late. The team plays poorly and, until the regime change last season, were poor sports to boot, beaning guys like Andrew McCutchen in retaliation for Goldschmidt's season-ending wrist injury from a HBP. Well, Goldy's back at full power this year, and he could give Cutch another run for his money in the MVP voting. Even though he missed 53 games last season, he still managed to launch 19 baseballs into orbit one year after hitting nearly twice as many (36, to be exact) in 2013. Equally important is his ability to get on base, as his OBP has flirted with .400 in both of the last two years. Playing half of his games in the hitter-friendly Chase Field will certainly boost Goldschmidt's counting numbers, but make no mistake: with that expertly-timed swing of his, he could hit on an airport runway and knock a plane out of the sky. As long as nobody seeks him out for unnecessary revenge, it's not crazy to expect 40 home runs out of big Paulie G this year.

Sell Em If You Got Em - Chris Davis, 1B, Baltimore Orioles
Man, 2013 really does seem like a long time ago. Davis followed up a season in which he led baseball by a mile with 53 homers and 138 RBI (as well as an MVP runner-up finish) with an absolutely abysmal 2014 that saw his batting average dip below the Mendoza line and ended with a 25-game suspension, the last game of which was Opening Day of this year, for a failed drug test for Adderall. Although he managed to secure a TUE this year, it's still unclear which version of The Slugger Formerly Known As Crush will show up to OPACY this year. The power should remain intact, as he still notched 26 homers in limited action last season, but to post a .196 batting average in a year when his swinging percentage dropped to a career low is a very troubling sign. Don't hang on to the mirage for too long.

Hurlers In The Stream - Jason Vargas, SP, Kansas City Royals
It's hard to make a case for owning Vargas, even if only for a day. He pitches to contact, which isn't a good thing when you consider that his fastball rarely breaks 90 MPH. He's become increasingly reliant on his curve and changeup, neither of which are considered plus pitches. Curiously, he tends to induce roughly as many fly balls as grounders. So why stream him? Because he's facing the Twins, tantamount to facing a Little League team at this venture. Don't expect a lot of strikeouts tonight, even if Minnesota's offense is so weak that manager Paul Molitor could suit up and hit better than his entire roster. That's just not Vargas's style. What you can expect is 6 solid innings with a fairly low WHIP, which could be enough to make the difference in your matchup (I know it certainly could in mine). Thursdays are always the day of the week wherein streaming options are scarce, so unless you'd rather take the guy Vargas is facing (Tommy Milone, ehh), it's either him or nobody. Enjoy.

Sleeping To Success - Lucas Duda, 1B, New York Mets
For our third first baseman of the post (I swear, this was not planned...), Duda may not have the name recognition of the two guys above him, but that doesn't mean that he can't help your team out in a significant way. The 29 year old Duda played in a career high 153 games in 2014, wherein he delivered 30 long balls to a Mets team that was hard up for power. This year, he should be the offensive spark plug in a lineup that includes David Wright, Michael Cuddyer and Curtis Granderson. A metric buttload of things would have to happen for these 4 guys to combine for 100 homers, but why couldn't they give you at least 80? This is surely what the Mets are hoping for, and it starts with Duda. If he can get rolling, it'll be hard to pitch around him with those other guys looming large.

TBF's Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner - April 15th

Happy Jackie Robinson Day!! Let's get down to some fantasy advice on this memorable occasion.

Buy Buy Buy - Xander Bogaerts, SS, Boston Red Sox
The Red Sock with the most difficult name to correctly spell since Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Bogaerts was a longtime top prospect before making his debut shortly before Boston won their most recent World Series in 2013 (UGH). His emergence made the Red Sox feel comfortable letting Stephen Drew walk before last season, although Xander's 2014 was a dismal campaign. His torrid start to 2015 (.433/.500/.533 through 7 games) likely isn't indicative of what his final numbers will look like, but if he can keep hitting at an acceptable clip, he could potentially give you 15 homers, which is like getting 35 out of a first baseman. Keep in mind that Bogaerts is still 22, an age at which many professional ballplayers are still toiling in the minors. With his knee issue (which looked fine in the MRI taken today), you could snag him for a song if he's owned. If he isn't already owned, why are you still reading this?? Go pick him up!!

Sell Em If You Got Em - Jose Iglesias, SS, Detroit Tigers
You could probably slot a few Tigers in here and have it make perfect sense. Of all the Motown boys that are due for regression, though, no candidate stands out more than the 25 year old middle infielder. Iglesias missed the entire 2014 season with a stress fracture in both shins, but in 109 games with both Boston and Detroit in 2013, he hit .303 (likely fueled by a .356 BABIP). He got on base at a rate of .349, but a slugging percentage of .386 is worrisome, even from a shortstop. Iglesias draws very few walks, although to his credit, his strikeout rate is relatively low. While he probably won't hurt you in any way, it's doubtful that he'll help significantly. If he's on your roster, you'll want to get anything you can for him.

Hurlers In The Stream - Wily Peralta, SP, Milwaukee Brewers
This one might not be such an easy pickup, as Peralta is owned by 63 percent of Yahoo teams, but considering some of the other names going today, he's still the best streaming option whether or not he's a streaming option. Peralta threw 7 strong innings against the red-hot Rockies in his last start, although he recorded only two outs via strikes. He'll be facing another tough lineup today in the Cardinals, but there's plenty of reason to believe he can work effectively against the division rival. The 25 year old typically induces more grounders than fly balls, something that'll definitely help him out against the slap-hitting Cards, and he's using his changeup more frequently to twist batters up. Only make this move if you're feeling brave, but remember that your other streaming options today include Edinson Volquez and Tim Lincecum, so you can do a lot worse than Peralta.

This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You - Jose Fernandez, SP, Miami Marlins
If you're a clever fantasy player (and I like to think I am), you know how to properly utilize the DL slots you're allotted. No, you don't use them to give injured players a rest. What are you, nuts?? You have DL slots so you can roster an impact player with a long-term injury, obviously! Enter Fernandez. I don't need to tell you how good this kid is, but I will remind everybody that before the 2013 season (wherein he won Rookie of the Year in a landslide and finished in third for Cy Young voting), the 22 year old had never pitched above Single-A. Jose's fastball is disgusting, his curve should be illegal, and his slider glides like a stitched-up bird. Once he comes back from Tommy John surgery in late June or so, would you bet against him returning to that insanely strong form? I know I wouldn't.

TBF's Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner - April 14th

And here we are for day two of the Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner!! Are you already demolishing your league thanks to my immaculate advice? No?? Typical. Here's some more crappy help!

Buy Buy Buy - Jason Grilli, RP, Atlanta Braves
When the Braves traded Craig Kimbrel hours before the first pitch of the 2015 season was thrown, it sent shockwaves throughout the game. Aside from making the Padres a legitimate contender rather than an erstwhile one, it opened up the possibility that Grilli, recently of the Pirates and Angels, and Jim Johnson, a former Oriole, Athletic and Tiger, would be closing out games in Atlanta. That's a harrowing scenario, considering Johnson's spectacular implosion last season and Grilli's own mini-meltdown in Pittsburgh. Even though the signing of both pitchers was much maligned (especially by yours truly), both guys have looked great in the first few games, Grilli in particular. Jason has 4 saves on the young season, has only allowed 1 run in his first 4 innings, and is currently sporting a 7:2 K:BB ratio. While it's inevitable that he'll eventually fall back to earth (as will his bullpen brother), the 38 year old could easily harness the control that made him an All-Star just two years ago.

Sell Em If You Got Em - Salvador Perez, C, Kansas City Royals
This one hurts. I drafted Perez as my main backstop this season in the 9th round, after 3 years of trying (and failing) to acquire him in a trade, and he has torn starters up lately to the tune of an absurd .414/.433/.759 triple slash line. He's hit 3 homers, scored 7 runs, and knocked 9 runs through the undefeated (!!) Royals' first 7 games. This would all portend well for Salvy this year, but keep in mind that he is a catcher, and not of the Piazza variety. Perez is sporting a .350 BABIP, much higher than his career mark of .302. As that normalizes, his batting average should dip back down into the .280 range. In addition, his wRC+ has decreased each of the last 2 years, starting at 114 in 2012 before dropping to 106 in 2013 and 92 last season, which is a fairly upsetting trend. I hate to say it, since I've spent that same amount of time pining after him, but if someone gives you a palatable offer for Perez, you kinda have to take it. Sorry, Sal :(

Hurlers In The Stream - Kendall Graveman, SP, Oakland Athletics
The linchpin of the deal that sent MVP candidate Josh Donaldson to the Great White North, Graveman was highly touted in the Blue Jays' system before arriving in Oakland with Brett Lawrie et. al. Admittedly, the 24 year old didn't look so great in his first A's start, yielding 7 earned runs (8 total) to the shambling Rangers, including 2 homers and 2 hit-by-pitches. Still, the rookie not only has a fantastic cutter to complement his fastball, but he will be facing an Astros lineup that's currently sporting a .195 team batting average, tied with the Angels for the worst in the AL. Their 61 strikeouts trail only the Pirates for the most in baseball. Evan Gattis and Chris Carter, two righty sluggers who are known for their tendency to hit long homers if they hit at all, should be neutralized by the same-handedness, another point in Graveman's favor. Rookies are a crapshoot, but for a streamer, you could do a whole lot worse than whoever's facing Houston.

Minor League Korner - Joey Gallo, 3B, Texas Rangers organization
It's not uncommon for a fantasy league to have minor leaguers under team control in some fashion: maybe you drafted Kris Bryant with your 12th round pick, or you took a flyer on Noah Syndegaard with one of your final selections. In our league, we do a MiLB draft immediately following our MLB one, wherein each team picks 3 minor league guys. This year, my last pick in that draft netted me Gallo, a prospect with light tower power. Across Single- and Double-A last season, Joey hit 42 homers, nothing out of the ordinary for a 20 year old who has seared through the minor leagues like a hot knife through butter. He has the misfortune of being blocked in Texas by a future Hall of Famer in Adrian Beltre, but come 2017, look for Gallo to be manning the hot corner in a park that's extremely conducive to his homer-happy approach.

TBF's Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner - April 13th

Welcome to a brand new series on TBF (one that will likely be abandoned after a few days, just like all the rest), the Fantastically Kontrived Fantasy Korner!! When it comes to fantasy baseball, there are few guarantees for success. Players get hurt, go through slumps, start going by the name Melvin, etc. How do you combat the maladies and malaise? By turning to self-proclaimed "experts" for "good" advice, obviously. If that's what you're here for, then sorry, you've probably come to the wrong place. But stick around! You might learn something, even if that something is that I have no idea what I'm talking about. 

Before we begin, I feel it's important to lay out the parameters of my fantasy league. See, every league in fantasy baseball is unique: like snowflakes, no two are the same. Even though that's a bold faced lie, there is some truth in it, as there are rotisserie, head-to-head and points leagues. Moreover, there are plenty of categories to mix and match, giving you the ability to make your league as unique as you please. I play in a 10-team, head-to-head dynasty keeper league that's 10x10: on the offensive side, runs/hits/homers/RBI/stolen bases/total bases/BA/OPS/cycles/slams; defensive side, wins/complete games/shutouts/strikeouts/ERA/WHIP/K/9/no-hitters/quality starts/saves+holds. A lot of these categories are unconventional, I know. I haven't seen any other league that factors in cycles, grand slams, no-hitters and saves+holds (as a single category, at least). But when you're a humongous stathead, as most of the owners in my league are, you get a little wacky. We're in our fourth season now, and I am the reigning third-place team, so you can trust that my "successes" in this game founded entirely on random chance are hard-earned.

So, without any further ado, let's start getting you on track to maybe do marginally better in your league! 

Buy Buy Buy - Nolan Arenado, 3B, Colorado Rockies

Listen, if you don't know who this kid is, kindly remove your head from your behind and pay attention. Arenado is a defensive wizard, but more importantly, he's got a hot bat well-suited for the hot corner. I've personally been high on the 24 year old slugger since taking a flyer on him in the 18th round of last year's draft, before he delivered a triple slash line of .287/.328/.500 with 18 homers in 111 games. Small sample size alert, but through the first 6 games of the season, he's hitting .375/.423/.792. He won't help you out in steals, with 2 per season in 2013 and 2014, and if you play in an OBP league, his low walk rate will irritate you immensely. But the potential for 25 homers is there, and playing half of his games in the thin air of Coors Field makes that an inevitability more than a possibility. In addition, he's already hit 4 doubles on the young season, putting him on pace to...probably hit around 40 or so, don't get too excited. There isn't much reason to root for the Rockies these days, but if you must take a chance on a Colorado player, eschew Cargo and pass on Tulo - Arena-GO for Arenado. I'll see myself out.

Sell Em If You Got Em - Jake Arrieta, SP, Chicago Cubs

Some pitchers take longer than others to break out. Even then, only a handful of those are worth the wait. Arrieta finally put it all together in Chicago last season after several failed campaigns with Baltimore, but how long until the magic fades? The 29 year old posted a K/9 of more than a strikeout per inning (9.6, to be exact), but only in a career-high 156 2/3 innings. If he's going to be the number 2 guy in a Cubs rotation playing for the postseason, 200 strong frames (or at least 30 starts, since he topped out at 25 last year) is a necessity. He looked quite sharp against an intimidating Cardinals lineup, going 7 strong innings with as many strikeouts, but the 3 walks he allowed is nothing special (in fact, it's roughly in line with the 3.6 walks per 9 he's posted in his short career). There's no telling how long this will last, so if you're looking to really maximize Jake's value, let him play elsewhere. 

Hurlers In The Stream - Wei-Yin Chen, SP, Baltimore Orioles

For all the good work Chen has done with the O's over the last 3 seasons, he never seems to get as much recognition (or, perhaps, the ADP) that he is honestly due. Chen pitched to a 3.54 ERA (3.89 FIP) last season, making 31 starts and recording 185 2/3 innings across them. He's never been a big strikeout guy, with a career 6.9 K/9 mark, so don't expect a lot of help there. But he keeps the ball on the ground fairly well, and in just one start this season (an unimpressive 4 1/3 innings against the Rays wherein he allowed 3 runs), he's mixed in his changeup and curveball more frequently, two pitches that get him out of trouble when his middling fastball is as advertised. He'll be going up against a Yankees squad that mostly looked lost in the first week of the season, and being a lefthander will certainly help him out against a heavily left-handed lineup. Additionally, the Orioles have had the Yanks' number over the past few seasons, so Chen is about as close to a sure thing as you can get in this game. For today, at least; let's not get too crazy here.

Sleeping To Success - Joey Votto, 1B, Cincinnati Reds

It almost feels blasphemous to consider Votto a fantasy sleeper, but you can't ignore the fact that the former MVP followed up a typically strong 2013 with a comparatively weak 2014, missing 100 games and seeing his OBP dip under .400 for the first time since 2008. His home run totals have jumped all over the place: after launching 66 long balls from 2010-11, he managed just 44 between 2012-14 (and just 6 in his shortened 2014 season). At 31, there is no certainty that he'll regain the entirety of that power, but he should still have enough left in the tank to rediscover his swing. As long as he's healthy, Votto could quietly put up another stellar season.

TBF's Current Standing - I am currently in 5th place out of 10, in spite of winning my first matchup against our league's commissioner (I'm the co-commish, naturally). Even though we're a H2H league, our standings go by the scores of the matchups rather than actual wins and losses. Therefore, the 4 guys ahead of me all won their matchups with higher scores than the one with which I won mine. But I'm feeling really good about the construction of my team, and beating Shane (main-commish) is especially sweet due to the insane amount of trash talk he spews. I'll be sure to keep you ravenous fans updated every Monday on where I stand.

For Better Or For Worse 4: The Reckoning - NL West

We'll wrap up this year's FBOFW the same way as the others, with the National League West Division.

Arizona Diamondbacks
Key Additions: Yasmany Tomas, Jeremy Hellickson, Rubby De La Rosa, Allen Webster
Key Losses: Wade Miley, Miguel Montero, Didi Gregorius
2014 Record: 64-98
Playoffs: No
Season Outlook: Grit and grind didn't do much in the desert. The Snakes have had a tough time since reaching the NLCS in 2011, as their record has gotten progressively worse (2 straight seasons at .500 until their losing record this past season), and the trade package they got for Justin Upton, their best position player since Luis Gonzalez, has yet to pay any real dividends. Things reached a low point last season when deposed manager Kirk Gibson ordered Randall Delgado to plunk then-reigning MVP Andrew McCutchen in the back as retaliation for a perceived slight against then runner-up Paul Goldschmidt, who was hit by an Ernesto Frieri (now of the Rays) pitch the night before. Even worse, when asked about it, both Gibson and former GM Kevin Towers defended their pigheaded position. With those two gone (and Chip Hale/Dave Stewart composing the new manager/GM tandem), things should be much more peaceful in Phoenix. Tomas brings the promise of an untested Cuban slugger, although if reports that he'll be the team's starting third baseman are true, they'll lose a lot in terms of infield defense. Hellickson, former Rookie of the Year in Tampa, recorded a career high 7.61 strikeouts per 9 innings last year. That was the only good thing I could say about a season in which he notched a 4.52 ERA (4.15 FIP) in 63.2 innings. De La Rosa and Webster are each on their third franchise, after both were traded from LA to Boston before coming to Arizona in the Miley trade. Their roles are still uncertain, but guys with a lot of promise typically don't find themselves on team number 3 before making a real impact in the bigs. It's hard to root for this team for many reasons, and 2015 might not see any real improvement for the D'bags D'backs.
Biggest Need: An attitude adjustment, something that should come organically after removing Gibson and Towers from the equation. I mean, how often do you hear of a manager ordering a pitcher to plunk a batter, and then see the decision defended by the GM?

Colorado Rockies
Key Additions: Daniel Descalso and Nick Hundley? I'm not sure you can call them KEY additions...
Key Losses: Michael Cuddyer, Brett Anderson
2014 Record: 66-96
Playoffs: No
Season Outlook: The only certainties in life are death, taxes, and Troy Tulowitzki's inability to stay healthy for 162 games. Unfortunately, that leads to another certainty: no October baseball in Denver. Sure, Justin Morneau won the batting title in his first season with the team. Yeah, Nolan Arenado's defensive prowess at third evokes comparisons to prime Brooks Robinson. OK, Charlie Blackmon and Corey Dickerson combined for almost 5 fWAR last season in spite of both of them having made up names. But you don't get to almost 100 losses unless things go completely haywire, and it's not hard to pinpoint the culprit. Carlos Gonzalez is as complicit, as he spent another season largely off the field, appearing in only 70 games to Tulo's 91. Still, even with their superstars usually riding the pine, the Rox tend to rank 5th or higher in most offensive counting stats from year to year, something that is surely a result of playing in the best hitter's park in baseball. Conversely, the pitching is...well, you know. I'm confident that Jorge De La Rosa and Jhoulys Chacin would be perfectly acceptable starters if they didn't pitch primarily in the launching pad of Coors Field. Seeing as the team didn't bring in any pitching reinforcements, it's safe to say that the worst rotation in baseball won't be any better next season. Descalso and Hundley are both depth pieces on any other team, but with a roster as injury-prone as this one, they may get more playing time around the diamond and behind the plate than either might anticipate. It's been a while since we've seen Roctober, and when you combine the sad state of the team with the atrocious farm system (and the fumbling of high draft picks), it figures to be a few more seasons until we do. Hey, Colorado, at least you've got legal pot there.
Biggest Need: The same thing they need every year, Pinky...full seasons from Tulo and CarGo. Having one of them on the DL is bad enough, but they seem to love keeping each other company in the doctor's office.

Los Angeles Dodgers
Key Additions: Brandon McCarthy, Brett Anderson, Howie Kendrick, Jimmy Rollins, Yasmani Grandal
Key Losses: Hanley Ramirez, Matt Kemp, Dee Gordon, Dan Haren, Brian Wilson, Drew Butera, Tim Federowicz
2014 Record: 94-68
Playoffs: Lost NLDS to Cardinals, 3 games to 1
Season Outlook: For the first offseason since taking over, Magic Johnson and the LA brass have focused more on revamping the front office (adding Andrew Friedman and Farhad Zaidi as president of baseball ops and GM, respectively) to include more people with an affection for advanced analytics. That doesn't mean they've stood idly by on the free agent and trade markets, however. In fact, they're as prolific as ever in those regards, just with fewer dollars being thrown around. They convinced McCarthy and Anderson to come back west, enticed Kendrick and Grandal away from other southern California teams, and even brought Rollins over from Philadelphia. While the team may miss the spotty power of Ramirez and Kemp, the speed of Gordon, the shaky pitching of Haren and (especially) Wilson, and the aforementioned second-string catchers, there are still plenty of reasons to think the reigning division champs could still be called that this time next year. Clayton Kershaw is still the best pitcher in the solar system, the rest of the rotation (Zack Greinke, Hyun-Jin Ryu and McCarthy/Anderson) should continue to dominate, Joc Pederson now has a clear path to the majors, Adrian Gonzalez still provides plenty of firepower, and few closers in the game are more steady than Kenley Jansen. Most importantly, perhaps, Vin Scully will be calling home games for at least one more season. Even when they lose, this Dodgers team seems to keep winning.
Biggest Need: What do you get the team that has everything? They are unquestionably the most powerful team in baseball, in terms of financial and human capital. They're the Steinbrenner-led Yankees with a sabermetrically-inclined geek squad at the helm. Whether or not that translates into postseason success is wholly dependent on how the boys fare on the diamond.

San Diego Padres
Key Additions: James Shields, Matt Kemp, Wil Myers, Justin Upton, Derek Norris, Will Middlebrooks, Brandon Morrow, Tim Federowicz, Brandon Maurer
Key Losses: Seth Smith
2014 Record: 77-85
Playoffs: No
Season Outlook: Some teams rebuild. Some reload. And then there's the Padres. When newly-minted GM A.J. Preller took over, he immediately made it clear that he had a single objective: give San Diego a reason to get excited about baseball again. Mission accomplished. Preller waited the market out to nab Shields at a discount price, swung multiple trades to give the Padres light-tower, right-handed power in the form of a Kemp/Myers/Upton outfield (while sacrificing everything on defense, as all three run like they're sinking in quicksand), a solid catcher in Norris, a bounceback candidate in Middlebrooks, and brought some pitching reinforcements on board in Morrow and Maurer. This revamped lineup will undoubtedly be more productive than last year's team, with all the new faces giving Jedd Gyorko a break from being the only reliable batter. Josh Johnson, who didn't throw a single pitch for the Friars on a one-year pact last season, resigned with the team in the hopes that he'll actually take the mound in an MLB game next season. Even though their offense was horrendously and historically bad, the pitching (both starting and relief) was pretty strong. Tyson Ross, Andrew Cashner (both of whom had an ERA below 3) and Ian Kennedy (207 strikeouts, the highest total of the trio) could all see significant jumps in production, and less pressure to be "the guy", with the addition of Shields. In turn, Shields gives yet another small market team looking to end their unending cycle of postseason misery the chance to do so. This time, though, he's got some serious offensive muscle behind him. Now, with a stacked lineup and more certainty on the bump, it's not crazy to hope on the Padres anymore. Well, it's less crazy.
Biggest Need: A shortstop. Alexi Amarista has never been anybody's first choice, and Everth Cabrera was cut after a myriad of injuries and legal troubles. Who knows, maybe Preller is just crazy and daring enough to ply Tulowitzki from the division rival Rockies (this is a joke, Tulo will stay in Colorado until Dinger goes on a rampage and eats the entire team).

San Francisco Giants
Key Additions: Norichika Aoki, Casey McGehee
Key Losses: Pablo Sandoval, Michael Morse
2014 Record: 88-74
Playoffs: Won World Series against Royals, 4 games to 3
Season Outlook: There's gotta be something in the water out in SF. After clinching a Wild Card spot, the Giants toppled the Royals in one of the most exciting and invigorating World Series in recent history. As they had done after their previous two Series wins, they sought to retain their major free agents. They managed to lure Sergio Romo, Jake Peavy and Ryan Vogelsong back into the fold, but Sandoval bolted for Boston. Morse signed with the Marlins, but not before they had traded McGehee to San Francisco to fill the panda-shaped hole at third base. They also brought in recent October nemesis Aoki, who will man left field full-time for the first season in his career. More than anything, though, the front office has to hope some of the team's players simply bounce back. Matt Cain pitched to a career-worst 4.18 ERA in a career-low 90.1 innings. Angel Pagan only played in 96 games and stole 16 bases, his second lowest total in the last 5 seasons. Tim Lincecum's freakish mechanics are old news. And the bullpen is on its third closer since 2010 in Santiago Casilla, although it's nice that we're spared the unnecessarily wild facial hair with this one. Even with so much hinging on several "what-ifs", there's a lot to like about the champs: Buster Posey continues to be one of the top backstops in the game, Joe Panik was a revelation at second just when the team needed it most, they've still got their bug-eyed magic man in Hunter Pence, and were it not for that pesky Kershaw guy, Madison Bumgarner might hold the title of best pitcher in baseball. The Giants will have stronger competition than just the Dodgers next year, but if they can stave off the advancing Padres, they might find a way to harness that even-year magic in an odd-numbered year.
Biggest Need: While we're at it, they could use a national movement to omit odd-numbered years from the Gregorian calendar. That way, this dynasty can win every year, since every year will be an even-numbered year. Baseball is weird, man.

Projected 2015 Standings
Los Angeles Dodgers
San Diego Padres
San Francisco Giants
Arizona Diamondbacks
Colorado Rockies